Friday, April 30, 2010

Journal Entry #6

Friday Night
April 30, 2010

"Somehow I have to trust that God is at work in me and that the way I am being moved to new inner and outer places is part of a larger movement of which I am only a very small part." Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus.

That quote was taped to the computer at the McCord Hospitality desk. It speaks to me in a hopeful place in my being. I'm working tonight at the desk and suffering from writer's block. I am also suffering from anxiety as I head into a weekend where I'm presiding at a church foreign to me and preparing to write my final papers due next week, the last week of school. I'm also anxious about the heading into a summer, not attending any classes, without any income or financial aid help. Yikes as they say. Hence, my attraction to the quote taped to the desk. I remind myself, "God is still in the midst of me, of this world."

I used to be a very good writer. I used to be a very beautiful writer, taking my time with words, actually agonizing over words, in the vein of Hemingway. Now, I do what I can to get by. Is it stress, or have I lost my talent? I wonder. Maybe I never had any talent to begin with.

2 comments:

C. Beth said...

I hope you'll just keep pushing through the dry times when writing is hard. I think the journaling discipline is good for you. The inspiration will return if you remain ready for it. :)

Praying for you today.

Laurel said...

Thanks so much Beth~