Thresholds

In the past couple of days, a memory has surfaced of a time when I was just 18. When I was 18, I lived for a short while in central California's San Luis Obispo county. I used to refer to it as where God lived because of its rich beauty and serene atmosphere. The crux of this particular memory I speak of is in a late night gathering. The setting of the gathering is sitting around a campfire on the beach of a cove located in DeOro State Park in Los Osos (Los Osos meaning the bears in Spanish and approx. 3-5 miles up highway 101 from the town of San Luis Obispo proper.) eating pecan sandies and drinking hot chocolate....talking about life. Sounds saccharin, fakey sweet (no alcohol ?...does that prove a good time) but nothing could be further from the truth. That time was a huge, huge transition for me. It was an emergence into adulthood and being my own person. This moment in my life combines meaning behind goodness in terms of friendship, conversation (and the give and take associated with), and the peace and joy only God can bring. Ironically, that's often felt when one is in the purity of nature and no one is around.

Flash forward to today and Monday marks the beginning of the Spring semester, my second complete full-time semester in seminary. My life has changed and very few facets remain the same. I miss my home, I miss being in close proximity to friends, I miss my former teaching colleagues. Of course, I even miss my students and teaching itself :-). I miss the familiar and the comfortable. I still worry about the future, often times a cacophony of fearful voices, but I see a brightness that lures me forward. New learning and growing, a hospital internship this summer, a possible church internship this coming fall......God to show his face in ways unimaginable and unsurpassed. If I sound optimistic, I'm trying to drone out the traffic of "I can'ts", "I don't fit ins", "I'm not liked", "I'm not smart enoughs". "I'm not good enoughs", and "I'm just not everything/all that enoughs". :-). This traffic is not God's congestion I have to remind myself.

I've crossed the threshold of a new Beginning. I'm on the other side of the door. I just need to now sit on the sand, in a cove, listening and interacting awake and attuned with gratitude. Here's to the testimony of thresholds and making life anew.