Laurel Jeanne's Blog

Sermon on Luke 14:7-11

2010-08-29T22:48:00.001-05:00

8/29/10
Luke 14: 7-11
The Timeliness of Humility

Humility is one of those abstract words that is hard, at least for me, to define. I looked up Humility in the Websters dictionary recently, and the definition given was this: Noun, the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc. Then, I looked it up in a couple of theological dictionaries and they said this: that in the Hebrew, the word for humility is Anaw. Anaw indicates the act of humility as well as the profoundness of meekness. Anaw also indicates that God, Yahweh, shows favor to the humble, and that the humble are easily taught by God. In addition, it is the humble, and those who are afflicted who have a spirit of dependence upon God, which Yahweh promises to watch over.

In New Testament Greek, Humility, the word tapeinoo caries various shades of meaning. It can mean to make small, or to be obedient. When Saint Paul uses the word, tapeinoo, humility, he indicates that the word implies the compassion necessary to know what's it's like to be in need. To know what's it's like to be in need. That’s a phrase that makes me pause and think.

Okay...that all sounds well and good. But I still struggle with the absolute meaning of humility. Does humility mean that since you are meek, that you have no courage? Does humility mean to have no back bone, and let others walk all over you? My search for the meaning, came up with the resonating answer that humility is a calmness in God...it's in the openness to listen to God and not to the self-indulgent echoes of yourself or others. As far as courage, humility is the strength to follow Jesus. Humility is a Christian practice. It's what is called a Spiritual Discipline. So, what is a Christian practice? One defining quote I found, said this, “The things people do together over time to address fundamental human needs, in response to, and in the light of, God's active presence for the life of the world.”

So, enough of the definitions and what does Jesus mean by the giving and telling of this parable. Let me reread it....

“When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give this person your place,’ and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” He said also to the one who had invited him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

I heard a story in my Christian Education course. It was the story of Le Chambon France during World War II. Le Chambon is a village about 350 miles south of Paris in south-central France. This small village is known for giving sanctuary to 5000 Jews fleeing the Holocaust by 5000 Christians. That’s interesting: a one to one ratio. The Christian people of Le Chambon sheltered Jewish refugees. They did this and educated the sheltered children, as well as, arranged for hundreds to escape to safety in Switzerland or Spain through a well organized underground network. Le Chambon has long been recognized for their hospitality. But even more so, they should be recognized for their bravery and humility in following Christ. They could have easily in the words of the French Prime Minister in 2004 while celebrating the victories of Le Chambon, not stood up to all the dangers ; but instead they chose courage, generosity and dignity. And, I might add, humility and faith.

Pastor Andre Trocme served the people of Le Chambon during the years of the Holocaust. Through his direction, the Nazis never took any of the people hidden ,nor the people who gave them welcome and sanctuary in private homes, on farms and in public institutions. When authorities questioned possible wide-scale rescue activities in the region, they demanded the pastor to stop. His response was to say, “These people came here for help and for shelter. I am their shepherd. A shepherd does not forsake his flock. I do not know what a Jew is. I know only human beings.”

Maybe Trocme's words echo a stronger religious admonition....Jesus' words to us: Love One Another. The people of Le Chambon gave a banquet and invited the poor, the crippled and the lame. They knew somehow in the end that they would be blessed for their humility. Because, those who they brought to the table could not repay. The Christians of Le Chambon went past self-interest. Needless to say, they put their very lives on the line out of dignity and humility in Christ. They did not think they were superior to the Jews. They just knew what they needed to do. They exercised the spiritual practice of humility and in return they extended hospitality and protection, spreading God's love to those who needed it. They gave because others needed it. I read once that a person may give to another, simply because he or she could not help it. In other words, something seizes them to give, and to love. This type of giving is the only real way to give. As in Jesus’ parable, the law of the kingdom is this-if someone gives to gain reward, he or she will not be given any type of reward. But if someone gives with with no thought of reward (just doing what is right), then the reward is certain. The only real giving is that which is the uncontrollable outflow of love.

The allowing for that uncontrollable outflow of love, which comes directly from God, is what I term as humility. Interestingly enough. this parable in Luke is sandwiched between a story about the scrutiny of hostile men (Jesus being questioned by the Pharisees about healing on the Sabbath); and a story of the King's banquet and the King's guests (the parable that addresses those who are too busy or those too preoccupied within their world to recognize that they invited guests of the banquet housed in the kingdom of God.)

I titled this sermon, The Timeliness of Humility. Humility does not stop with stories like Le Chambon, France. Humility occurs everyday. Humility also, and most notably, takes patience and trust in God. Humility is not the attitude of I’m right; they’re right; that person is wrong, or they’re all wrong. My way...my interest..Those types of stances are what is called pride. Humility, Christ’s humility, is comprised of the trusting, the faithfulness, the patience, and the openness to God. It’s finding the dignity to recognize God in our lives; and to recognize of all of God’s people, and their importance. No matter what. There’s a lot of tension in the world today. We are a fallen people. So, it’s a given that there is always tension. But it’s seems more ostensible now, economically, politically and socially. It’s in these times that we ask for God to give us humility. Humility, the spiritual discipline that is always timely.

Amen

Sermon on Hebrews from 8/8/10

2010-08-09T11:37:00.002-05:00

The last two weeks have been trying, so I hope to get back to rescheduled blogging very soon. But until then, here is the sermon I preached in Salado yesterday morning. Hope there's something there that either makes sense, or touches you. Thanks for reading :-)!

Hebrews 11: 1-3 & 8-16
Salado FPC
8/8/10

I was working as a chaplain intern the weekend of July 4, 2009. On this particular Friday night I had many pending crises going on simultaneously. In the middle of juggling the different episodes of care, I remembered a lady I had visited earlier that morning. She had broken her shoulder the night before and was trying to stay positive as best she could in spite of the tremendous pain she was enduring. I remember she said poetry, especially by the poet Emily Dickinson, gave her comfort. So while I had a second that evening, I thought let me print out the poem I saw on my friend's blog by Dickinson, and run it up to her. I found it quickly enough and printed it. I reread the first stanza,
"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—”

That will work I thought to myself.

She was delighted with the poem choice. As she lay in her hospital bed, the poem reminded her of her own faith. She found the touch of hope and calm in that faith. She in return gave me a tremendous gift that evening, as she in spite of her condition, saw God's purpose for me and affirmed God's promise in a few short words, “You are very special; you were meant to do this work.” Her words quelled my own doubts and my momentary lack of faith in God and myself.

Last summer I completed this hospital internship in Austin. Internships of this type go by an innocuous acronym, CPE, which stands for Clinical Pastoral Education. Some people regard, as myself, this time as one of the hardest things they will ever do as part of their seminary training. Not only are you thrown into crisis situations where you have little or no experience to offer pastoral care and direction, but you and the people in your peer group examine your life, your faith walk, and why you act and believe the things you do. Looking back I remember thinking and laughing with my group mates that the day I finish CPE is the day of the eschaton; the day I see Jesus. The end of CPE marked the end of the intense trial of self-examination, the questioning of faith; as well as the hope that I was actually following God's calling, and meant to do the work I thought God was calling me to do. The end of CPE, I thought, would mark the time of divine arrival, a happiness that would permeate my entire being and make every future interaction go perfectly. Now as we can all attest, every situation can never go perfectly. But through our experiences, especially the hard ones, faith grows...it's the thing, along side hope with feathers that perches in the soul. This perching becomes the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

The Hebrews passage today talks about faith and hope. It's questioned if the letter to the Hebrews was actually written by Paul. But there is no question as to that it was written to encourage, and even written to stand on its own, or touch the soul, as some would consider in the way of a sermon. One of the ways it does this is by providing the example of Abraham to illustrate its point. Abraham listened, obeyed and trusted God so much that he set out for a place not seen. He believed God when told, “Look toward heaven and count the stars, if you are able to count them...for so shall your decedents be.” Abraham believed God. “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to set out for a place that he was to receive as an inheritance; and he set out not knowing where he was going. By faith he stayed for a time in the land he had been promised, as in a foreign land, living in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he looked forward to the city that had foundations, whose architect and builder is God.”

But what is Faith? What is Hope? And, are we automatically happy because we have faith? Is faith ever questioned? Was Abraham happy? Was his faith ever tested? Abraham was in the promised land for years and did not ever see the glory of the promise itself. Did he ever doubt, then? Knowing some of the aspects of Abraham's story, and the echoes of Abraham's story in our own story, we know perhaps that this is true. The test of our faith is apparent by living everyday. We strive to be hopeful and faithful. We strive to be happy. We chase the substance of happiness. And think at times that if we're happy, that will be a sure sign that we have unquestioned faith and hope.

This is the 50th year of the longest running American musical, The Fantasticks. Some of you may not know this but the creators of the Fantasticks, Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt, both went to the University of Texas where they met and collaborated on many projects as students. Matter of fact as a side note, the University of Texas is hosting a celebration weekend of events this fall to commemorate the marking of this milestone in American theater. If you're not familiar with this musical, it's a fable about life with all its sweetness, hardships, turmoil and blessings. At the end of act one, the young couple at the center of the story are happily together, and their fathers restore their differences. Happiness and faith abound. However, the happiness they showcase is a form of brainless, idiotic happiness. They are happy without the substantive understanding that true happiness is more hard won than that. True happiness is found at the end of the play when the boy and girl, he after being badly bruised and battered by life; and she after losing what is most precious to her, find each other again. They realize that you can go through a lot of pain in life and come up standing. Happiness, and really faith, comes when you realize the human race, and notably you as an individual, can go through a lot of pain and come up standing. That's what we need to hear. Is that not the gospel?

I have a friend that speaks truth with humor and relevance, but always without malice. Do you know anyone like that? She recently blogged about a quote she came across that said, “The God-Life is a great life. He turns an ordinary story into an amazing adventure!” Aside from second guessing the author’s true intent, my friend calls superficial phrases like this, self-help drivel with a dash of Jesus juice. She writes that with this type of phrasing, she can only imagine the delivery of the line coming out of a Amy Poehler/Seth Meyers SNL Weekend Update sketch. She wonders if the trend to mask happiness into a sign of faithfulness is just pride parading around in the skin of positivity. She questions how some turn Christianity into an exclusive club, where its members, as she writes, “live such adventurous, glamorous lives where happy juice if the drink of choice and troubles are just little speed bumps that slow you down just enough to get you to pause and reflect but don't get you to stop, look and listen. Happiness is not an object to be captured. Happiness, and faith, are more hard won than that.
Let me give you the second stanza of Dickinson's poem, which I started with this morning,
“And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm-”

Two weeks ago now was one of the hardest weeks I've had in a really long time. I lost an immediate family member that I had no true adult relationship with, and consequently had not significantly seen since my late teen years. On the heals of this unexpected shock, I was not selected for two positions I applied, two dear friends moved to states away from Texas (I know the nerve), and I was bit by a rooster named Sue twice. (It's okay you can laugh at that last part...even though it did hurt and I still have the bruises to prove it). But on the other side of this exhaustive week, I realized that even though things appeared to be against me and coming apart, and perhaps I did not even see hope and faith in the exact moment; I did notice after a few days the ebb of despair dissipate and the pieces pull together. The way was made clearer, and little by little brighter. I could see the seeds of reconciliation planted in fresh soil, the transformation of understanding for the sensitivity of timing, and the appreciation for the promise of new life bestowed upon the friends I love. I regained a footing of faith and subsequently hope. I felt faith-filled. I sensed a tinge of relief centered happiness, but that of which only comes from a covering of peace.

I'm reminded that the gospel does not equal happiness. Happiness is an image, a glimmer from which the gospel resonates. The gospel is peace. It's the peace found in reconciliation, transformation, new life and resurrection. From that peace, we get a glimmer of warm happiness. Some call it joy. Reminder to self: Happiness should never be the object solely sought. Happiness, correction joy, comes out of peace.

Faith then, as a commentary I looked at put it, is an attitude of commitment by which one persists and endures while all things seem contrary. The experience of each person, as it’s shown in the letter to the Hebrews and in each of our lives, shows how faith works at some crucial juncture in each life. Each person 's story allows us to watch individuals wrestle for meaning in contexts that seem crushing and unmanageable. Abraham responds to life as a pilgrim caught between past and future in a very demanding present. And yet his trust, as well as our trust, in God's concern gives us perspective, patience and persistence. As Abraham, we’re of our own time, but stirred by looking forward, we’re seekers; directed by what was yet to be, encouraged by what is anticipated. Abraham sensed that the meaning of his days could be clarified in time and vindicated by God. True faith is characterized by a forward look and an openness to the pull of the future that God has planned. Abraham did not look back. He only looked forward.

But once we go through the hard times and arrive at the promised land, do we stop? Is every situation and interaction perfect now? Unfortunately no. However, no is never the end of the story. Faith and hope continues the cycle. God’s promises and steadfast love always endure.

Please indulge me to end this with the last stanza of Dickinson’s poem, and then once again the first,
“I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.”

for

"Hope", and I'll add faith, is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—”

Amen

A Writing Reminder

2010-08-02T07:58:00.003-05:00

From Under the Unpredictable Plant by Eugene Peterson, "While personal experience often provides the material and the impetus-how can it be otherwise?-the act of writing is primarily an exploration of a larger world, entering into more reality, getting away from ourselves, moving beyond ourselves into other lives, other worlds."

According to Peterson, writing is not recast to the terms of ones own experience. I want to remember that in the midst of our crazy narcissistic world.

Sunday Prayer

2010-07-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

From the book, Stumbling towards Faith by Renee Altson:

o god,
your love does pull at me
if i am silent with myself
I feel it,
as much as i feel my blood, my breath,
it is there, as present with me as my own self.

if terrifies me, this love of yours.
what does it expect in return?
what will it demand of me?
what part of who i am must i sacrifice for it?
how much of me will be lost?

i am afraid of losing what i have left
so much has already been taken away
so much i never gave,
so much i was never able to give
because it was never mine.

i am afraid that your love will take me apart
that it will undo me, rewrite me,
that it will strip me of my defenses,
my pathetic self-securities,
that it will leave nothing left.

my whole life has been a fear of being nothing.
i have held on to my terror, my shame, my grief,
believing it helped to keep me alive.

what does your love do with my shame?
what does your love do with everything in me that resists it?

and always, the same questions:
where were you in those harsh times? where was your love?

Video Saturday: Movie Comforts

2010-07-24T08:13:00.000-05:00

This is one of my most favorite movies. And strangely, one I seek when I need a sense of comfort. Maybe it's the beautiful music and underlining quiet of the movie. Maybe it's the scenery (shot mostly on Robert Redford's property in Utah). Maybe it's reminder of the Hero's Journey we're each on. Nevertheless, for some reason it just speaks to me on many levels. Growing up in California, I was attracted to all the legends of the mountain men. So, maybe that's all it is :-). And the juxtaposition of dealing with our own aloneness and the ebb and flow of life. Enjoy, this beginning seven minutes from Jeremiah Johnson.

A Quote by Annie Lamott

2010-07-23T09:35:00.001-05:00

From an interview with Annie Lamott by Linda Buturian. A question proposed by Buturian: When you lie awake at night, what kind of child are you in the family of God? How old do you feel?

Annie's response is that nothing (no principals of insomnia..something she says she's suffered with since the age of 4-5) can separate herself from the love and strength of God. However, she does see herself about the age of 11. The in-between stage of being a kid and being a teenager. "It means that I can be a little bit formless and a little bit outside of that need to have an image or a definition to hang it all on."

I like that...and I especially love the question. What kind of child am I? At different stages in my life, I've been different ages in the family of God. I've been the responsible and dutiful adult, and the angst driven teenager. I feel currently about the age of about 9-10. I still need a lot of comfort and holding, and able to allow, even desperately seek and desire, that to occur from God. But, shaky as it is, have developed enough sense of self to stand for what and who I am. Also, at this age, typically not too many people are paying attention to you, so you come and go as you please. You have a sense of protection. You have friends but your existence does not hinge on them, as a teenager or someone in their 20s would. Oh yeah, and school is your whole life and existence, and that's a good thing. :-). All of which is how I see myself now. Next year will be a totally different age in God's family, as I transition from the life of a divinity student into a life of ministry.

I thought of what Lamott says about insomnia. Being someone who lets the ghosts of anxiety and childhood fears run rampart in thinking back over the present day(s) while trying to fall asleep, I got choked up when she gives the reminder that nothing can separate us from the love of God. The reality of truth is that absolutely nothing can.

So, when You lie awake at night, what kind of child are you in the family of God? How old do You feel?

Happy Birthday Stephen~

2010-07-22T09:38:00.002-05:00

Today is Stephen Vincent Benet's birthday. He was born on July 22, 1898 and died on March 13, 1943. One interesting note about Benet: He wrote the musical, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Didn't know that.

Noted for poetry, here is one of my favorite poems by Benet when I was a child. It's called, The Mountain Whippoorwill. Do you remember it?

The Mountain Whippoorwill
(Or, How Hill-Billy Jim Won the Great Fiddlers' Prize)
By Stephen Vincent Benet
Up in the mountains, it's lonesome all the time,
(Sof' win' slewin' thu' the sweet-potato vine.)
Up in the mountains, it's lonesome for a child,
(Whippoorwills a-callin' when the sap runs wild.)
Up in the mountains, mountains in the fog,
Everythin's as lazy as an old houn' dog.
Born in the mountains, never raised a pet,
Don't want nuthin' an' never got it yet.
Born in the mountains, lonesome-born,
Raised runnin' ragged thu' the cockleburrs and corn.
Never knew my pappy, mebbe never should.
Think he was a fiddle made of mountain laurel-wood.
Never had a mammy to teach me pretty-please.
Think she was a whippoorwill, a-skittin' thu' the trees.
Never had a brother ner a whole pair of pants,
But when I start to fiddle, why, yuh got to start to dance!
Listen to my fiddle -- Kingdom Come -- Kingdom Come!
Hear the frogs a-chunkin' "Jug o' rum, Jug o' rum!"
Hear that mountain whippoorwill be lonesome in the air,
An' I'll tell yuh how I travelled to the Essex County Fair.
Essex County has a mighty pretty fair,
All the smarty fiddlers from the South come there.
Elbows flyin' as they rosin up the bow
For the First Prize Contest in the Georgia Fiddlers' Show.
Old Dan Wheeling, with his whiskers in his ears,
King-pin fiddler for nearly twenty years.
Big Tom Sergeant, with his blue wall-eye,
An' Little Jimmy Weezer that can make a fiddle cry.
All sittin' roun', spittin' high an' struttin' proud,
(Listen, little whippoorwill, yuh better bug yore eyes!)
Tun-a-tun-a-tunin' while the jedges told the crowd
Them that got the mostest claps'd win the bestest prize.
Everybody waitin' for the first tweedle-dee,
When in comes a-stumblin' -- hill-billy me!
Bowed right pretty to the jedges an' the rest,
Took a silver dollar from a hole inside my vest,
Plunked it on the table an' said, "There's my callin' card!
An' anyone that licks me -- well, he's got to fiddle hard!"
Old Dan Wheeling, he was laughin' fit to holler,
Little Jimmy Weezer said, "There's one dead dollar!"
Big Tom Sergeant had a yaller-toothy grin,
But I tucked my little whippoorwill spang underneath my chin,
An' petted it an' tuned it till the jedges said, "Begin!"
Big Tom Sargent was the first in line;
He could fiddle all the bugs off a sweet-potato vine.
He could fiddle down a possum from a mile-high tree,
He could fiddle up a whale from the bottom of the sea.
Yuh could hear hands spankin' till they spanked each other raw,
When he finished variations on "Turkey in the Straw."
Little Jimmy Weezer was the next to play;
He could fiddle all night, he could fiddle all day.
He could fiddle chills, he could fiddle fever,
He could make a fiddle rustle like a lowland river.
He could make a fiddle croon like a lovin' woman.
An' they clapped like thunder when he'd finished strummin'.
Then came the ruck of the bob-tailed fiddlers,
The let's-go-easies, the fair-to-middlers.
They got their claps an' they lost their bicker,
An' they all settled back for some more corn-licker.
An' the crowd was tired of their no-count squealing,
When out in the center steps Old Dan Wheeling.
He fiddled high and he fiddled low,
(Listen, little whippoorwill, yuh got to spread yore wings!)
He fiddled and fiddled with a cherrywood bow,
(Old Dan Wheeling's got bee-honey in his strings).
He fiddled a wind by the lonesome moon,
He fiddled a most almighty tune.
He started fiddling like a ghost.
He ended fiddling like a host.
He fiddled north an' he fiddled south,
He fiddled the heart right out of yore mouth.
He fiddled here an' he fiddled there.
He fiddled salvation everywhere.
When he was finished, the crowd cut loose,
(Whippoorwill, they's rain on yore breast.)
An' I sat there wonderin' "What's the use?"
(Whippoorwill, fly home to yore nest.)
But I stood up pert an' I took my bow,
An' my fiddle went to my shoulder, so.
An' -- they wasn't no crowd to get me fazed --
But I was alone where I was raised.
Up in the mountains, so still it makes yuh skeered.
Where God lies sleepin' in his big white beard.
An' I heard the sound of the squirrel in the pine,
An' I heard the earth a-breathin' thu' the long night-time.
They've fiddled the rose, and they've fiddled the thorn,
But they haven't fiddled the mountain-corn.
They've fiddled sinful an' fiddled moral,
But they haven't fiddled the breshwood-laurel.
They've fiddled loud, and they've fiddled still,
But they haven't fiddled the whippoorwill.
I started off with a dump-diddle-dump,
(Oh, hell's broke loose in Georgia!)
Skunk-cabbage growin' by the bee-gum stump.
(Whippoorwill, yo're singin' now!)
My mother was a whippoorwill pert,
My father, he was lazy,
But I'm hell broke loose in a new store shirt
To fiddle all Georgia crazy.
Swing yore partners -- up an' down the middle!
Sashay now -- oh, listen to that fiddle!
Flapjacks flippin' on a red-hot griddle,
An' hell's broke loose,
Hell's broke loose,
Fire on the mountains -- snakes in the grass.
Satan's here a-bilin' -- oh, Lordy, let him pass!
Go down Moses, set my people free;
Pop goes the weasel thu' the old Red Sea!
Jonah sittin' on a hickory-bough,
Up jumps a whale -- an' where's yore prophet now?
Rabbit in the pea-patch, possum in the pot,
Try an' stop my fiddle, now my fiddle's gettin' hot!
Whippoorwill, singin' thu' the mountain hush,
Whippoorwill, shoutin' from the burnin' bush,
Whippoorwill, cryin' in the stable-door,
Sing tonight as yuh never sang before!
Hell's broke loose like a stompin' mountain-shoat,
Sing till yuh bust the gold in yore throat!
Hell's broke loose for forty miles aroun'
Bound to stop yore music if yuh don['t sing it down.
Sing on the mountains, little whippoorwill,
Sing to the valleys, an' slap 'em with a hill,
For I'm struttin' high as an eagle's quill,
An' hell's broke loose,
Hell's broke loose,
Hell's broke loose in Georgia!
They wasn't a sound when I stopped bowin',
(Whippoorwill, yuh can sing no more.)
But, somewhere or other, the dawn was growin',
(Oh, mountain whippoorwill!)
An' I thought, "I've fiddled all night an' lost,
Yo're a good hill-billy, but yuh've been bossed."
So I went to congratulate old man Dan,
-- But he put his fiddle into my han' --
An' then the noise of the crowd began!

Another Link to the Sidebar...Meet Carol

2010-07-21T14:19:00.004-05:00

At the end of this past semester, I was introduced to a new book called Tribal Church. The writer is an alum of my seminary, and now even a Facebook friend. At first I didn't like the title of the book. The word tribal to me suggests exclusion to the tenth degree. Traditionally, tribes do not band together with other tribes; they fight against one another. Tribe also suggests to me a clique. Cliques do not let outsiders in easily. Also outsiders must become like the tribe they are seeking adoption before they can be accepted. So, I was quite surprised about the book's actual premise. The book is great and I enjoyed it a great deal in its practicality and reverence. The book is about the changing needs amongst a new generation of people, and how they approach church. The changes in society reflected in the attitudes and needs of younger adults today must be addressed when it comes to providing them with spiritual nourishment and growth. Her blog gives this description of the book,

"lts today, she describes how churches can provide a safe, supportive place for young adults to nurture relationships and foster spiritual growth. There are few places left in society that allow for real intergenerational connections to be made, yet these connections are vital for any church that seeks to reflect the fullness of the body of Christ.

Using the metaphor of a tribe to describe the close bonds that form when people of all ages decide to walk together on their spiritual journeys, Merritt casts a vision of the church that embraces the gifts of all members while reaching out to those who might otherwise feel unwelcome or unneeded. Mainline churches have much to offer young adults, as well as much to learn from them. By breaking down artificial age barriers and building up intentional relationships, congregations can provide a space for all people to connect with God, each other, and the world."

She is coming up with a new book, set to arrive on the market soon. The new book is titled, "Reframing Hope" due out in August. This book continues to discuss the changing landscape of how we understand "church" in a new time and for a new generation of people. Anyway, I frequet her blog reguarly. So, now here's a formal introduction...(click on the word introduction). Today's TribalChurch.org post spoke on the burn out of ministers. I'm not officially a minister yet, but doing pulpit supply and interacting with others as a minister, I do feel different. I look at people and life differently. God has changed me from the inside out, so it speak. And let me tell you, change is never easy. And allowing yourself to surrender to God's changes takes a tremendous about of chutzpa (Yiddish for courage but even more so). Without further ado, from today's blog post,

The Professional Loneliness—Clearly, after you become a pastor, going to a party will never be quite the same experience again. There are people who will tell you every problem they have had with religion, or every problem that they have in general. They will apologize for cursing or for drinking. Or they are entirely too happy that you’re a minister. And all of it can make a pastor long to be just an ordinary citizen of the world. The problem becomes compounded when the pastor is single. I recently went to lunch with a wonderful group of clergywomen, who explained that they do not tell guys their profession on the first few dates. They tell them that they work for a non-profit."

Check Carol out. You will not be disappointed.

Martha & Mary: A story of obligation...

2010-07-20T06:04:00.000-05:00

For this coming Sunday, I'm going to post probably a poem....so for today, here is my sermon I preached this past Sunday, 7/18.

Last January I was taking what is called a Jan term class. These courses are usually held, you guessed it, in January and meet everyday during the month. Sometimes they are intense, like when I took biblical Hebrew. And sometimes they are more introspective, like the class I took this past January. This class was a class on pastoral care in alternate settings. It was held in a recovery center, and the eleven of us students not only learned about care for families and individuals who deal with various illnesses and addictions, but we learned how to listen to God. We were tasked to keep a journal, and on a morning basis write a dialog with God. Our assignment was to read a bit of scripture, ask God a question, then listen. After listening, we were to write down what we had heard. This brought each of us not only a whole new awareness of God, but taught us about how we interact with each other. One of my revelations from this activity was to remember friends, get out more, look at things from a different angle, and learn to listen more intently to what God was saying to me. Even if it was something I didn’t want to hear.

So in late January there was a Girl’s Night Out planned and organized by a few women from my home faith community. (Now at this point I was working an internship at another church while taking this January term class...I was quite busy). With some hesitation, I went to the Girls Night Out and watched the movie chosen by the group. When I got home, I wrote a Facebook status. (Yes, I am a big Facebook user.) And this is what I said. “So glad I went to girls night out tonight...funny movie and great company. And it was good for my soul to go. I was totally irresponsible in going...sermon not written; paper not started, and apartment not clean..even dirty dishes in the sink.” The pastor of my home faith community left me this comment to my status, “sometimes it is the absolutely responsible thing to do, to do what the voices in my head say would be the irresponsible thing to do! dishes? homework? cleaning? No Way. Community and laughter and relaxing are what God likes better.”

Now I don’t think he was saying God likes shirking responsibility entirely, but God wants us to listen to the rhythms of life...people and community, and our selves as God speaks to us. In today’s world, there is no argument that technology, cell phones, the impulsion to multi-task, and the bombardment of messages demand our attention, time and concentration. This very issue was written about in a opinion column in yesterday’s New York Times. The writer tells a story about a lovely engagement party that consisted of delicious foods and champagne toasts. Although, one small glitch. The guests, with their cell phones on the table, consistently sent text messages to friends and each other throughout the entire party. The writer proposes, “Enough already with this hyperactive behavior, this techno-tyranny and nonstop freneticism (frenzy). We need to slow down and take a deep breath.”

I met a friend for breakfast last week. We meet at a sweet, bright restaurant. However, as we sat at our table, we noticed music playing, and TVs on. The TVs were playing on various walls. And I noticed that added to the frenzy of what was going on in the dining rooms, was a scrolling news banner toward the bottom of each of the TV screens. Is it too much? I’m sure the restaurant owners are not out to hurt their patrons by giving them a huge headache. They are offering hospitality in accordance, or in obligation to what society demands them to have in their establishment. They believe in order to serve people, they must offer them, TV, music and of course free WiFi. But at what cost? All in the name of Hospitality in our busy society.

In the Genesis reading, Hospitality is slightly different than today’s restaurant. Abraham sees three men amidst the Lord. He scrambles to prepare for his guests, making sure they can be refreshed under his favorite large tree, and the opportunity for them to clean their feet. He elicits Sarah to make bread and cakes. And elicits his servant to prepare a meal, complete with cheese and milk, all from a calf Abraham has personally selected from his herd. Abraham is in a frenzy. He wants to show reverence, and respect. And he wants to show love. His love for the Lord. His reward for the hospitality is the Lord granting he and Sarah their long time wish for a son. Well, maybe reward is not the best term to describe the reason for Abraham’s hospitality. He didn’t do it for a reward. He did it out of reverence, respect and love. His gain by virtue of his faithfulness was God answering his longly felt, deep prayer. Abraham’s example of hospitality would later become during Jesus’ time, societal obligation in order to show hospitality. To show reverence, respect, and love. And so it was when Jesus stopped with his disciples in a certain village and a woman by the name of Martha welcomed them all into her home. She became frenzied by the responsibility of being a good hostess. She wanted to show reverence, respect and love. So, she likely prepared a comfortable place for them to rest. She got things together to cook a delicious meal, and then probably even cleaned up from the meal. Yet, Martha starts to feel overwhelmed in the act of being a good steward of hospitality. Now Martha has a sister Mary who lives with her. However, as Abraham is able to elicit Sarah’s help and his servants help in serving the Lord, Martha does not have that luxury. She starts to feel frustrated with Mary. She continually tries to elicit Mary’s help. Mary should be helping. Should; but she’s not. Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet. Mary is listening to Jesus. Martha in her exasperation asks Jesus to say something to Mary to get her to cooperate and start to help.

These two sisters, the story of Martha and Mary, is not about two women, one good and one bad. Not two to be pitted against one another. But, two women who each show their love for Jesus uniquely. Two women who find themselves obligated to show reverence, and to show love. One woman, Mary, focuses on listening to God. One woman, Martha, focuses on serving. Both women feel obligated to show love in different ways. Martha takes the conditioning society has taught to her . Mary looks at things differently. She feels compelled toward a different type of obligation. She knows that she can show reverence, respect and love in a different way. Mary knows that she can show love and reverence for God by listening to God’s son, Jesus. Mary knows that service to God also means listening to God’s voice, and for God’s voice.

For the gospel writer Luke, Jesus is not a divider. In response to Martha, Jesus lovingly tells her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.” That one thing he speaks of is listening. He will not insist that Mary help Martha because Mary is learning to listen. She is learning to follow Jesus. She is remaining relaxed and enjoying being in community with Jesus. She is doing what is natural to her. She is open to seeing things in a new way than how she was conditioned.
What struck me this week is this quote I found. The writer says, “Being human we act on what we know, but being followers of Christ we need to constantly question what we think we know. Not women vs. women; nor choice vs. choice.” In the movie, Dead Poet’s Society, the teacher , Robin Williams character John Keating, has his students stand on their desks. Why does he do this? Because, as he tells his students, “just when you know something, you must look at it in a different way.” And so it is with Mary. Mary and Martha each have the goal of the pursuit of the truth. Each goes about it differently. But Mary takes the time to stop and listen.

Listening to God, let alone each other can be hard task in our day. Speaking on the frenzied state of our society, the opinion writer of the Times wrote, “Let’s put down at least some of these gadgets and spend a little time just being ourselves. One of the essential problems of our society is that we have a tendency, amid all the craziness that surrounds us, to lose sight of what is truly human in ourselves, and that includes our own individual needs — those very special, mostly nonmaterial things that would fulfill us, give meaning to our lives, enlarge us, and enable us to more easily embrace those around us.”

Like Mary our conditioning should not control us. Such things as technology (checking e-mail all the time; constantly attached to our cell phones) should not control us and keep us from relaxing and being in community with one another. To listen to one another. To stop and smell the flowers, so to speak, all the while listening to God. For when we are able to easily embrace those around us, we become able to embrace God, to embrace Christ. I’m going to end with the words I found yesterday by the opinion columnist of the New York Times who says, “Listen....Other people have something to say, too. And when they don’t, that glorious silence that you hear will have more to say to you than you ever imagined. That is when you will begin to hear your song. That’s when your best thoughts take hold, and you become really you.

And I’ll add, and that is when you begin to remember that you’re a child of God; and thus, begin to hear God’s voice more intently.
Amen

Monday Bonus Post

2010-07-19T14:49:00.004-05:00

Check out this blog post. This is a link to Don Miller's, author of Blue Like Jazz, blog. Today's blog talks about a dear person to me and especially to Don, David Gentiles. Don was interviewed by CNN last December, around the time of David's passing. The post talks about the interview a bit, and then directly links to the article. The article is mostly about David and his impact on the lives of others. The article represents a beautiful testament to a remarkable person. What made David so remarkable is how he made each person feel. He made them feel as if they were the most important person to him. Read and find out why. I'm so pleased this article was written.

Bends Toward Justice

2010-07-18T20:49:00.003-05:00

One of my most favorite quotes comes from Martin Luther King who used the following phrase in several of his speeches and sermons. The phrase: The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." Something I found on the net said this about the phrase, "In 1961, Dr. King used these words when he explained his principles of nonviolence. On March 31, 1968, only four days before his assassination, he used these same words in the National Cathedral when he gave what would be his last sermon. He employed this phrase many times, before many audiences."

This phrase gave hope to so many during the years of the Civil Rights Movement. This phrase gives me hope. It gives me hope personally, and in how I view the world. Namely, in the balance of good and evil in the world.

An interesting note, and what I wrote for a paper in the Theology and Ethics of Martin Luther King, Jr. class I took years ago, MLK did not come up with this phrase. This phrase was originally penned by abolitionist preacher Theodore Parker in 1853. Parker, who was a Unitarian minister, said this, " "I do not pretend to understand the moral universe; the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways; I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice."

Interestingly, from the article I found, Parker secretly raised money for John Brown's assault on Harper's Ferry, as well as give shelter to runaway slaves. The article said that he was noted to write his sermons with a loaded pistol at his side in order to protect those in his care.

The arc of the moral universe is long, but bends toward justice. God always bends God's own hand toward justice. That's the hope of believing in Christ.

Sunday's Prayers

2010-07-18T06:56:00.003-05:00

I usually put my sermon on my blog on the Sunday I preach it. But this time, here's a couple of the prayers I'm using tomorrow. They are mostly adapted from the Book of Common Worship. I'm not that good (wink ;)

Prayer of Thanksgiving and Intercession
Almighty and merciful God,
from whom comes all that is good,
we praise you for your mercies,
for your goodness that has created us,
your grace that has sustained us,
your discipline that has corrected us,
your patience that has borne with us,
and the love that has redeemed us.

Help us to love you,
and to be thankful for all your gifts
by serving you and delighting to sit at your feet; listening and serving
O’ God, you are a God of mercy and compassion,
your Son gives rest to those weary with heavy burdens.
Heal the sick in body, mind and spirit.
Lift up the depressed.
Befriend those who grieve.
Comfort the anxious.
Stand with all victims of abuse and other crime.
Awaken those who damage themselves and others
through the use of any drug.
Fill all people with your Holy Spirit
and they may bear each other’s burdens
and fulfill the law of Christ.

God of Mercy, hear our prayers.
Be with us in our concerns and worries, and in our hopes and inspiration.
Lord God, Give us assurance that you’re beside us and hear, know and understand
the special intentions of each of our hearts. Remind us of your care and your love. Hold us close. Each day is a new; give us faith for today; help us find the courage to follow our hearts, to look at things differently, and to listen for your voice. Into your hands, O God, we commend all for whom we pray, trusting in your mercy through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.....And so, we affirm our faith as we pray together in the words Jesus Christ taught his disciples, by saying, “Our Father, who art in heaven...

Charge/Blessing/Benediction
Eternal God,
you draw near to us in Christ
and make yourself our guest.
Amid the cares of our daily lives,
make us attentive to your voice
and alert to your presence,
that we may treasure listening to you, and being in joint community with one another.

Through the grace of Jesus, our beloved redeemer, teacher and friend
the love of God, our creator; and in
the Communion of the Holy Spirit, our transformer;
Let us go forth in the bond of peace to listen, to be attentive and to love~

Davis & White perform their Indian OD

2010-07-17T09:01:00.002-05:00

Ice Skating was always a childhood favorite passion to watch. One of my earliest memories was watching the Peggy Fleming specials from Sun Valley. This past Winter Olympics in Vancouver, I really enjoyed both the silver and gold medalists in Ice Dancing. This video of Meryl Davis and Charlie White performing their Original Dance always makes me smile :-).

The term "Christian"...a non definition and two Blogs

2010-07-16T09:34:00.004-05:00

From Frederick Buechner's Wishful Thinking, a Seeker's ABC,

"Some think of a Christian as one who necessarily believes certain things. That Jesus was the son of God, say. Or that Mary was a virgin. Or that the Pope is infallible. Or that all other religions are all wrong.

Some think of a Christian as one who necessarily does certain things. Such as going to church. Getting baptized. Giving up liquor and tobacco. Reading the Bible. Doing a good deed a day.

Some think of a Christian as just a Nice Guy.

Jesus said, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me' (John 14:6). He didn't say that any particular ethic, doctrine, or religion was the way, the truth, and the life. He said that he was. He didn't say that it was by believing or doing anything in particular that you could come to the Father. He said that it was only by him-by living, participating in, being caught up by the way of life that he embodied, that was his way.

Thus it is possible to be on Christ's way and with his mark upon you without ever having heard of Christ, and for that reason to be on your way to God though maybe you don't even believe in God.

A Christian is one who is on the way, though not necessarily very far along it, and who has at least some dim and half-baked idea of who to thank. A Christian isn't necessarily nicer than anybody else. Just better informed."

I like that last statement by Buechner. By the way, Buechner was the one who wrote the famous line, "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." He also said, "You do not solve the mystery; you live the mystery." These quotes for me define being a "Christian" Living the mystery all the while leaning into the tension of ambiguity is what being a Christian is all about to me. It's not about being "nice" (Buechner's ending), Jesus was not necessarily nice but he was thoroughly and profoundly loving. Sidebar: I once came across a retired pastor and he said "Nice" people in churches were snakes simmering in honey. I always liked that. :-). Sidebar finished. :-).

Being a Christian is acknowledging who you belong to, and who you're accountable to...It's also about respecting the Story. The ugly and the beautiful. You might not like it or understand it, but you need to find a way to put it in a healthy perspective without blame and judgment.

Christian denominations are really faith seeking understanding (Anselm). It becomes a problem when that understanding starts pointing the finger at another, and sitting around and elaborating how one is better than another because they have one interpretation of faith different than the other. Faith is not a competition.

Or sometimes people are mired in the hurt caused by people in the name of religion. Not excusing or diminishing the hurt, but one of the most profound things I've learned in the last year is that when someone is deeply enraged at a certain religion, the inner struggle is really within themselves to heal from that hurt, or even an unrelated hurt. Complicated and messy....but I'm not sure it's an avenue to go down that ends up on the road to Apostasy.

Being a Christian is a Pilgrimage. It's allowing oneself to be seized by love, all the while falling down with plenty of scrapes, bruises and near misses. It's standing in humility, not succumbing to what's around or the falls, but grateful for the continuous redemption of grace.

I could go on and on; but I have two blogs to mention. One is a friend who wrestles with the term "Christian" in his most recent post. He writes, "For me, I was the Christian that turned me off. I was the one that “hurt” me. I was the hypocrite. And I did not want to be that anymore.

Of course, I feel that I was not really hypocritical in the typical sense. I was sincere in my faith, and I honestly tried hard to be genuine in the way I lived out my faith (I still do). But the word hypocrite comes from the Greek plays during which the actors wore masks to portray their characters. I look back and see that I was playing a role, (method acting maybe, because I was deeply sincere), and when it came to certain things, I was not being true to myself. And that ended up causing me serious internal, existential conflict.

And I can say that relieving myself of the burden of belief freed me to really pursue God in deep honesty. Today I feel that I am true to myself and true to that “still, small voice” inside me more so than when I was living the life of a model Christian. And while some areas of my life are definitely not easier, today I am more content and peaceful than I have ever been.

For more of the post, go to The Agnostic Pentecostal, the link is on the right as well. Another blog on my blogroll, very different than my friend above, is put together by several young women wanting to become leaders within the Christian faith. They are fellow classmates of mine at seminary. They struggle with some of the same issues in the arena of terms, expectations and definitions. What does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean to follow Christ? What does it mean for a woman to enter the pulpit, let alone the ministry? Their blog is called, The Prebyristas. From one of their recent posts by my friend Kelly, she writes, "
So in Carrie Bradshaw fashion, I can’t help but wonder, what does John 3:16 really mean? It’s like the Christian motto, a verse so well known that just its numbers will suffice as a reference. Is this verse truly what it’s all about? And should it be? The 4th grade Bible camper in me still equates John 3:16 with “the magic prayer”, a prayer consisting of three special lines that would reserve your spot in eternal paradise. It became a very complex equation:

3:16=belief in Christ=magic prayer=getting saved=no hell

Or the shorter version, 3:16= Fire Insurance

(Can I get on my soapbox for a moment? Christianity is not about fire insurance. Ok, stepping off now.)"

Often said for today...

Read my friend Julie's Medium Raw challenge essay: Getting Over Ourselves

2010-07-15T21:50:00.004-05:00

Bonus Post...My friend Julie entered this contest by one of her favorite personalities, Anthony Bourdain. Check it out. It's great essay submission for Anthony Bourdain's writing contest about why we should "eat well". It's worth your time to check it out . It will take just a second to read it. In the contest, she is 98th out of more than 800. So, please VOTE FOR HER! The link's below. Thanks~

Read my Medium Raw challenge essay: Getting Over Ourselves

Correction: She's now 96th out of 809 entries.

Not a long post...but better late than not :-).

2010-07-15T19:56:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, one of my blogs I frequent, had a contest to give away The Berry Bible cookbook. One of the questions she asked visitors to comment on in order to enter her drawing was this: "Before the summer slips away, I'm definitely going to ___________." I said canning or making preserves. I was looking for a few good recipes and some ideas since answering....I want to do this but have no idea how. I did find one recipe for Bread & Butter Pickles. That seems easy to start with. But the search will go on :-). It can't be that hard I tell myself.

So, another recipe blog to check out...Ezra Pound Cake....enjoy and bon appetite!

You find the darnest things on other people's blogs

2010-07-14T15:50:00.002-05:00

I was looking at my friend Elizabeth's blog, Save for Later on the right. She had a link on one of her posts (2nd post from top) to a cooking blog, called Smitten Kitchen. I now have a link to the right. It's one of the better cooking blogs I've come across. Great pictures and recipe ideas. Thinking about these cookies for Christmas presents perhaps. :-).

And now something for the road, in terms of food,...I came across Frederick Buechner's book, Wishful Thinking: a Seekers ABC's. . This is the definition Buechner gives for the meaning of Bread.
"Man does not live on bread alone, but he also does not live long without it. To eat is to acknowledge our dependence - both on food and on each other. It also reminds us of other kinds of emptiness that not even the Blue Plate Special can touch."

Does God smell?

2010-07-13T10:08:00.004-05:00

In Hebrew the word for breath, wind or spirit is a female noun, Ruach (resh, shureq, het...if I could make Hebrew letters I would). As with English, this word can have different connotations depending upon how the word is used in the sentence. Often the connotation can be simply breath through the nostrils, the sign and symbol of life, or God's presence. As in English, there are close relatives to certain words; as well as, nouns that change meaning when they turn into verbs. When I was in my exegesis class in Amos last fall, I noticed this was the case with the word ruach. Close neighbor, Ruwach (resh, yod, het) means scent or odor. In the verb tense hiphil, Ruwach can denote delight, which is transcendent. Think of it like this: You walk into an house, and a smell a sweet smell, like cinnamon and cloves permeating the air, it takes you back to grandma's and a sense of love and safety. Does that make sense? It's associated with a memory. A smell that brings you delight and takes you back to a memory. Can God be represented by a smell? Something to think about.

By the way, you can still enter the cookie drawing by leaving a comment~

A Challenge, a Discipline, and a Contest

2010-07-12T09:39:00.000-05:00

I raise my hand when asked, do any of you struggle with spiritual disciples. Last fall term, I needed to adopt a spiritual disciple for my Christian Ed. class, find a group of people to join me on a specific one, and then set out to explore that discipline. I and two good friends chose Forgiveness. I led our research. I talked about why Forgiveness was hard. We watched a film on forgiveness. We told our stories of getting to a place of forgiveness at different times in our lives, and we even cried. When it came time for the final and I was supposed to report how I practiced my discipline. I really couldn't do it. I wrote about biblical and historical examples. I reported how my group was conducted and our activities; but, could not authenticate my own place of practicing Forgiveness as a discpline. Clarification: A heart practice, not just a cognitive exercise done from time to time.

In my last ordination meeting, my pastor tasked the ordination pilgrims with the challenge of sticking to a spiritual discipline whatever that may be.
Sidebar: the purpose of a spiritual discipline (per my friend Kaye) is one that does the following: Stills us; Helps us Endure; Keeps us Connect; Nurtures our Growth; and, Expresses our love for God.

So, forgiveness might need to be on hold for now, but I thought of a couple of different things. I chose writing. I've been writing every day on this blog for the last two weeks. So far, so good. (Thank you to all have encouraged me to stick to it.) To start to get the "word" out of what I'm doing, I would like to have a contest. Many of my friends have contests to give-away a book, or make something. I'm thinking...something I could give away with joy...I came up with baking cookies. Leave a comment on my blog and I will have a drawing, and send you out cookies of your choice. Leave a comment...thank you for reading, and until tomorrow...wishing you many blessings of grace~

A Sunday Prayer

2010-07-11T06:02:00.001-05:00

My school seminary produces a publication called Windows three times a year. A year ago the central topic of the 2009 summer issue was Prayer. Many of the professors, and graduating DMin. students, contributed a favorite prayer. My adviser, Dave contributed this prayer by Augustine, which was found at the conclusion of Augustine's theological treatise "The Trinity"

O Lord, my God, my one hope,
listen to me lest out of
weariness I should stop
wanting to seek you, but let me
seek your face always, and with
ardor. Do you yourself give me
the strength to seek, having
caused yourself to be found
and having given me the hope
of finding you more and more.
Before you lies my strength and
my weakness; preserve the one,
heal the other. Before you lies
my knowledge and my
ignorance; where you have
opened to me, receive me as I
come in; where you have shut
to me, open to me as I knock.
Let me remember you, let me
understand you, let me love
you. Increase these things in
me until you refashion
me entirely.

In Dave's explanation of why he chose this prayer, he wrote that Augustine's prayer deals with the importance of knowledge and love, always genuine and growing when it comes directly from God. In class, Dave always would say something to the effect that yes many of the great theologians are old and dead, and some are older and deader than others, but they still have something great to teach us.

Video Saturday

2010-07-10T06:02:00.002-05:00

I've always loved this song by Jewel. It reminds me of how we not only each have an impact on others, but how valued we're by God. Our small efforts can have huge results. God works through the use of our hands, even if physically small (and I laugh because I have unusually small hands), to touch others. We also have a tremendous amount of strength that we often ignore. We can make a difference to act out of kindness through God's grace. Enjoy the video, lyrics attached :-).

A very special post dear to my heart....Meet Joanna

2010-07-09T06:02:00.005-05:00

I was widowed very young. In the vein of Ruth and Naomi, his family became my family. My husband's eldest sister's first born daughter is Joanna. I remember Joanna and her sisters (and brother) through many dear memories, as they were part of my life for many years. As family's sometimes do, I lost contact with my nieces and nephews as the years went by, and they grew up to live and define their own lives. Recently, through such mediums as Facebook, I became reacquainted with many of them. I found that Joanna was living in New York as a photojournalist. I few months ago I found out about Joanna's new adventurous quest that has taken her to many new and adventurous places. Her blog, Joanna in Action, documents her travels in Asia, Mongolia, Vietnam, Laos, China, and other countries of the far east. Her drive is admirable in my eyes, as she seeks to be in community with the people; to get to know the people she meets, and love them for who they are and what they are...nothing less, nothing more. Her pictures are at level of what one would find in a National Geographic magazine. If nothing else, I would encourage you to look at some of her pictures. (Scroll down through the blog to see the photos). She is able to capture the soul of the people she meets, and the land they inhabit. In her most recent blog, she writes,

"So many places my eyes have seen and my soul has absorbed…Glowing neon, China’s buildings are wrapped with sparkle. Purples, blues, reds and greens, China is eccentric. And when it’s not, it’s filled with acres upon acres of organized farming, and when it’s not, it has boxy brick buildings, gray, bland, repetitive, with the occasional watch towers with giant antennas… big brother, I can feel you watching. China is a place where the name tags have numbers and people often times treat each other like they are one.

In Beijing, there is an immense lack of random personal expression, outside of spitting. That being said, I picked up a plastic face toy… black circle glasses connected to a giant red nose, connected to a black curled mustache connected the birthday toys you blow into that make the sound of a horn. After touring a beautiful palace, my travel mates and I head town to the rush hour packed subway…"

or this,

"Wheels clanking heavily and swiftly along the tracks of the Trans-Mongolian railway. I lay on the top bunk with my head out of the window, feeling the soft, refreshing, open blue sky send it’s wind across my face. Small patches of green are placed evenly among the flat sandy plains of the Gobi desert. Groups of horses graze as the elongated sky stands bright with vibrant dashes of white clouds. A lone ger (a circular home allowed to be built anywhere in the county) stands evoking the curiosity of immense solitude.

Here, the nomad’s life is celebrated, respected and rewarded. When you are in the middle of no where, you know they are the ones who have explored it. The Mongols. The untamable. With their chubby faces, thick skin, rosy cheeks, grand smiles, sly, all telling eyes and their complex language, their culture seems untamed and ambitious… I can feel the same feeling billowing in my chest.

I exit the train at midnight in the town of SainShand… In the Gobi Desert. Somehow manage to get settled somewhere and the journey begins.

I pray for Joanna's safety, but the adventurous spirit once alive within me coupled with a true love of all of God's people, can only be immensely proud of her. I think to myself, wow when she returns home, what a story she will have to tell...it would make an excellent movie. And who would play the lead character carving out her own story and exploration of life in all its marvel?

The Grand Canyon & Sullivan's Travels

2010-07-08T06:10:00.000-05:00

The seminary library where I go to school and where I work recently took out of circulation all of their VHS tapes. Working at just the right time, I was able to take some home with me before the rest were taken off to 1/2 price books. One of the ones I took was the movie The Grand Canyon. No this was not a movie on National Parks in Arizona. This was a movie with Kevin Kline and Steve Martin. Created in 1991 under the direction of Lawrence Kasdan (Big Chill fame), the movie takes the premise of how the precariousness of life takes shape into what could be considered life's destiny. It mixes the bad and the good. No exact rhyme or reason, but still how our lives interweave with one another. The movie ends with the actual Grand Canyon, the unspeakable majesty that through eons of years of creation of this awe-inspiring beauty, God provides an example of God's own wondrous nature. And, just looking at the Grand Canyon can give us new perspective and a feeling that something is greater than ourselves. Life indeed rich in meaning. This movie carries a similar premise.

I found this old review from the Times. It says this: "Mack (Kevin Kline), the central character in Lawrence Kasdan's "Grand Canyon," hauntingly describes the experience of almost being hit by a bus. He was standing on a street corner, he recalls, and was about to step off the curb without looking when a stranger pulled him back. When he thanked her, she smiled and said, "My pleasure," then disappeared. She saved Mack's life, although he never returned the favor.

The spirit of that anecdote, with its grasp of life's precariousness, its awareness of the ominous and the miraculous in everyday events, its understanding of the intricate exchanges and equations that make up our destiny, seems to be what "Grand Canyon" is after. As he did so successfully in "The Big Chill," Mr. Kasdan here uses a deceptive casualness in approaching his contemporaries' most intimate hopes and fears."

The movie also links another famous movie, created when the black and white movie was the norm and Veronica Lake was just starting out. The movie is Sullivan's Travels. It is one of my favorite movies. And often, I think it's a great one for anyone idealist in nature who wants to solve all of life's problems, to watch. Sullivan's Travels is referenced at the end of Grand Canyon. The character Davis (Steve Martin), who is a movie producer and best friend to lead protagonist Mack (Kevin Kline), says to his friend Mack, "All of life's riddles are solved in the movies."... "Sullivan's Travels is about a filmmaker like me and loses his way-he forgets what he was set on this earth to do. Fortunately, he finds his way back. That can happen. Check it out."

And so I say to all of you, check these movies out. Sullivan's Travels also, especially for it's time, carries one of the most profound statements of African-American soul and love for the truth in God's kingdom.

Not a fad...Meet My Barefoot and Beautiful friend C. Beth

2010-07-07T15:33:00.003-05:00

My friend Beth has a blog, C. Beth Blog, where she shares recipes, her children's adventures (known as Chickie and Zoodle on the net)and just life in all its specialness, uniqueness, wonderfulness and of course its sometimes bizarre and bittersweet nature. Her blog is often heart-warming,and always real. She is always discovering something new, or a really cool new hobbie and shares it with the rest of us. One of the things that she's covered recently is a developing passion, for running barefoot. Yeah, you read that right, barefoot. From her most recent blog entry, "That's right, I'm venturing into the exciting world of barefoot running....No, this isn't a belated April Fool's Day joke! Sure, barefoot running is still on the fringe in modern America, but humans ran barefoot for a long time before shoes were invented, and in parts of the world, barefoot is still the norm. It seems to be gaining popularity in the U.S. too!

I started getting intrigued by the idea of running either barefoot or in "minimalist" shoes that mimic barefoot running, as I heard from others online who love this type of running. At first I just read with interest, even as I planned to purchase another pair of running shoes. But the more I researched, the more I realized it was something I wanted to try.

You can find lots of information online about barefoot running, but the basic idea is this: Our feet were made to be barefoot; shoes are a (relatively) modern invention. When we run barefoot, our running form naturally improves. Many believe that those who run barefoot are therefore less likely to suffer from running-related aches, pains, and injuries, though studies need to be done to confirm that hypothesis.

Many runners also use minimalist shoes, designed to mimic being barefoot while still protecting the soles. I will probably get some of these funky-looking Vibram Five Fingers. If the ground is too cold, too hot, or particularly difficult to run on, I'll still be able to run with proper form in Vibrams. But this article convinced me to start out totally shoeless. By letting my sensitive soles feel the ground completely, my form naturally improves. Proper form is more gentle on the feet, so our bodies naturally try to figure out what that proper form is when our feet can feel everything.

So twice this week I've gone outside and done warm-up walks and short runs, barefoot. I've run on both the asphalt road and on concrete sidewalks. My soles need to toughen up, and I'm still learning to have a better running form, but so far I love it! My feet feel so light, and in this hot weather my whole body is cooler when my feet are free from shoes. I like the feel of not striking the ground first with my heel. (Running shoes encourage a heelstrike.)

When I was a little kid (me, Laurel), I was always walking around barefoot. I loved it. It was natural for me, and my first independent statement of how I defined myself. So in virtue of my past, I was intrigued with Beth's new interest. I went and looked at one of the sites that sells/gives information on minimalist shoes and, or sports that can be excelled at barefooted. Here's a site that I checked out, http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/barefooting/index.cfm, and a direct link by clicking on the word, link. :-). Beth also mentions this site above. The only thing about barefoot running is that as a kid walking around barefoot, I always got an unusual amount of splinters in my feet. Oh well :-).

A blog schdule and a Tuesday evening~

2010-07-06T22:00:00.004-05:00

I am just whipped today. Lots going on in general, and a hectic Tuesday. But, I really am striving to blog everyday. It's become a spiritual discipline of sorts. And something that should be healing in many ways too. I've decided to not burn completely out, so generally, I'll write M-F over a wide assortment of subjects. On Saturday, I'll post a favorite video, or a message per video that speaks to me. On Sunday, I'll post a prayer, prayer practice, or something I've written for ministry, like a sermon, which I've done before. That's my new scheduled quest.

So, here's a bonus prayer in lieu of Sunday, late on a Tuesday night. This prayer is out of the Book of Common Worship (Presbyterian), and from the section on prayer at the Close of the Day, number 7.

"O God our Creator,
by whose mercy and might
the world turns safely into darkness
and returns again in light;
We give into your hands our unfinished tasks,
our unsolved problems,
and our unfulfilled hopes,
knowing that only those things which you bless will prosper.
To your great love and protection
we commit each other
and all for whom we have prayed,
knowing that you alone are our sure defender,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

Food, Food, Food....Meet Maggie

2010-07-05T13:32:00.003-05:00

This is my second post of a sort of series I'm doing (when I think of it) of some of my favorite or interesting blogs I tend to follow. You can find these on the right side of my blog. The one I'm doing today is called Maggie's Austin. I was turned onto this blog by something that was posted in my friend's Elizabeth's blog. I've followed Maggie for a year or more now. I love the look of her blog, the restaurants she reviews, and how she highlights different bands, or things going on in and around Austin. She reviews, well really highlights, restaurants from small scale out of the way places, to expensive, to your remote trailer eateries. She is never mean and takes alot of pictures of where ever she's covering. She has special features too called Song of the Day, Drink of the Day, or Dish of the Day. This summer, she also did highlights of the eating places she visited in her travels to Spain, France and Italy. As you can tell, this is one of my most favorite blogs.

Today, I tried a restaurant that's owned by Sandra Bullock, which I was originally introduced to through Maggie's blog. It's called Walton's, Fancy and Staple on 6th street. It has to be one of the prettiest restaurants in Austin. I turned to my friend Renee when we walked out and said, "This place looks and feels like Sandra Bullock." Maybe even like the set design of the soap shop from her movie Practical Magic. It's wonderful and I got Cherry/Pistachio bread while I was in there for $2.25. Can't beat that :-). I also got one of the best soups I've had in while, Carrot Bisque. A cup is $2 and a bowl is $4. Anyway, for a sniff of Maggie's blog, here is one of her posts on Walton's. Click on the word Here :-); Here, Here and Here. Okay, all those Heres were various times Maggie covered Waltons, but the last one has the most pictures of inside Waltons. :-).

One last food find, not found on Maggies, that you must try if you live in Austin. There is a Kolache place behind Dallas Night Club on Burnet Road. This place is all about the best homemade kolaches ever, and has been in Austin for decades. For my purchase closing 11 years ago to buy my home in Leander, my agent brought in kolaches that she said was near her home. She lives in Allendale. They were so good...and I searched for this one place for 11 years since that morning closing back in '99. By coincidence, I found it this past Saturday. It's called The Kolache Shoppe, 7113 Burnet Road. And they actually have a website, click on the word website :-). You should try it some time.

Simple Gifts - Yo-Yo Ma and Alison Krauss

2010-07-03T12:44:00.002-05:00

I found this by chance on YouTube. I found most of the depictions (of course to my favorite Shaker tune) very stirring. For me, it was the thanksgiving of freedom, and very "Americana". It was the childlike rustling of the simple beauty we can create everyday. It's more so even the playfulness found in our immanent relationship with God. I'll end on that note.
Happy 4th!!

Meet Melody....the Way of St. James

2010-07-02T16:51:00.005-05:00

I am really trying to blog everyday, getting into the habit and developing a spiritual discipline (see Goo, here's my discipline). When I think of it, I'm going to highlight one or more of the blogs on my sidebar, where I've written, "Blogs I like to sniff at and learn from" (Sniff is my expression for giving it everything from a quick glance to looking forward to reading it everyday.) Then maybe you will be introduced to a blog or two, and sniff at them too.

The first one is from a friend of a friend who is experiencing the El Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. Her blog is titled, "Camino Traveling Mercies". This lady, Melody, is a friend of my friend, Christine. I think they were college roommates, if I understand the connection correctly. Melody is walking with her daughter on a 500 mile ancient(well ancient meaning 1000 years old, middle ages...think Chaucer) pilgrimage that goes through Spain to the cathedral, Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia Spain, where St. James' (the apostle James that tradition accounts as Jesus' brother) remains is thought to be buried. This pilgrimage is commonly called the Way of St. James. I believe tradition also accounts that this is the path James took to bring the gospel to the Spaniards before returning to Jerusalem and his death at the hands of Herod in 42 AD. Google El Camino de Santiago. The results are very interesting.

I first heard of the El Camino from my friend Mary Paige who said I needed to do this at some point in my life. She also told me about some of the more famous books that were written by others experiencing this spiritual journey. One can bike the trail or walk. I believe Mary Paige did the shorter route by bike. Melody is attempting the full 500 miles by foot. Wow...the determination and fortitude. She (Melody) arrived in Spain this past Sunday, the 27th, setting out to the starting point of St. Jean Pied du Port. Her journey is shared through this blog. Here's a snippet from her last entry today, Friday, 7/2.

Every day, it seems, when we´ve needed it most, blessing has come in the form of a fellow traveler or host who brings us help or bandages or friendship. These blessings (and the fact that they consistently seem to show up just when we need them most) have been an amazing gift, and they bring me great joy. The heartbreak is having to learn that every day, you have to open your hand and let those blessings go. People have left, and I haven´t always had the chance to say good-bye, or fully expressed my gratitude for the fact that they had salt when we needed it, or shared some laughter when I was worn down. The blessing that they have been travels off on another path, and I have to remember to be grateful for the part where our paths crossed here.

So here we are, at the end of one week already. There are some really tough-looking days coming down the road--treks of over 30 kilometers, which the guidebook says will take 8.5 hours to finish. I´m still wondering how we´re going to do that, and still trying to learn to let each day stand for itself. Today I have done what I thought, at the start of it, I couldn´t do. And along the way have been blessings and joys I didn´t look for at the beginning of it. So that, I guess, is exactly where I need to stop, and rest.

Blessings on your rest, and on your journeying.

I love these couple of paragraphs because it speaks to the Way of God. Truth in its most simple form.

Liberation Theology

2010-07-01T08:51:00.007-05:00

I've always had an interest in Liberation Theology. To me, Liberation theology is compassion for the poor, but even more than that. It's speaking out for justice. It's speaking out that the poor are not oppressed in cruelty but treated with dignity and respect, the honor bestowed upon every child of God. This theology is biblically profound. Amos will shake you to your core. Not to mention the angle of the gospel according to Luke/Acts. For more information on Liberation Theology, click here.

On Good Friday this year, NPR's program Latino USA broadcasted an interview marking the 30 anniversary of the death of Oscar Romero, and the current state of liberation theology in light of Romero's death. The people interviewed were theologian Ernesto Valiente of Boston College, and associate editor of Sojourners Magazine Rose Marie Berger. Here are some links:
http://rosemarieberger.com/2010/03/27/radio-interview-the-legacy-of-oscar-romero/ hereand the actual interview: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2iI0rd/latinousa.kut.org/wp-content/lusaaudio/886-romero-extended-web.mp3. here (Cut and paste, or just simply click the "here" next to the links.)

The interview is relatively short and eye opening. One of the things that most struck me in the interview is this question, in the midst of the horrors and violence the poor experience, how can we tell the poor that God loves them. In the interview, it's quoted that the wrestling out of this question, and responding to it, is the root definition of Liberation Theology. I asked my theology professor that same question, plus if Liberation Theology was alive and well here in the States. This is what he said, "Hi Laurel-Good questions. Yes, liberation theology is alive and well in the U.S.--movements in Black and Hispanic theology, in particular, keep the spirit of liberation theology alive in this country. On the second question, I think one of the things that liberation theology teaches us is that it's not the job of the "privileged" to tell the poor that God loves them; rather, the poor actually experience the love of God in the midst of the struggle against oppression. And that is a presence that speaks more powerfully than any words proclaimed to the poor from "on high." I'm not saying, of course, that we shouldn't tell anyone that God loves them; rather, we discover God's love in the midst of life, in the midst of struggle."

For me, the key is loving the poor (meaning not doing things for them but being in relationship with them, and standing next to them [even figuratively] so they are not alone) in the midst of the struggle. I watched the movie version of Oscar Romero's life last night. The depiction was disturbing, and very hard to watch, yet deeply moving. After the movie was over, all I could think about was saying the Lord's Prayer.

Sojourners magazine is a publication that combines faith, politics and culture. Kind of some interesting perspectives. Click here for the link.

A Pause Found

2010-06-30T09:37:00.004-05:00

Have you ever been reading a book, and then come across something that deeply moves you? Something, where you might say, actually out loud, "Gosh, I want to remember that forever." The something provides a certain resonance that gives a pause, an awakening to something deep in your soul. I had that experience this morning while reading a book I started last week, Open Secrets by Richard Lischer. Open Secrets is a book about a young pastor in the late 1960s who full of ideals and thoughts of living out God's calling with a zest for change and compassion, is faced with the reality of being placed in an impoverished farm area in Southern Illinois amongst people who are used to things as they are in their community, and understanding the world in a certain way. Where his ideals and this community's reality meet are the crux of the grace and beauty of this book. This is the quote that stirred me and provide me with a sense of pause,

"The Protestant church was already in the process of discarding the named Sundays of Lent and Easter even as we blessed and planted the seeds. Now they bear the evocative names, 'The First Sunday in Lent', 'The Second Sunday of Lent', and so on. The Fourth Sunday in Lent was once named Laetare, which means rejoice. It was known in the church as refreshment Sunday. On this Sunday rose paraments [vestments, etc.] replaced the traditional purple of Lent, and psychologically and spiritually, we breathed a little easier. The color rose seemed to say, There's light at the end of the tunnel. Even at the dead center of Lent, Christ is risen.
The protestant church got rid of Laetare as well as Rogate [the Latin word for pray] and many of the other days for reasons I have never fully understood. It created a bland church calendar and liturgies du jour in the image of people who have been abstracted from place and history, who have no feel for the symbols and no memory of the stories. They live, work and worship in climate-controlled buildings. They have largely adopted a digitalized language. Their daily routines override the natural rhythms and longings of life.

I can only say that the Latin words were not too much for my high school dropouts. The simple outline of church history didn't overtax their imaginations. The liturgy and church year made sense to the farmers in New Cana, for who better than a farmer understands the circularities of life? The church year had a rhythm, and so did their lives.

Some would argue that the observance of Rogate arose in an agricultural world and is, therefore, irrelevant to all but the 1.7 percent of Americans [probably alot less today] who live on farms. But my congregation understood the metaphor that underlay Rogate, which is this: When we do any kind of useful work, we join the act of creation in progress and help God keep the universe humming."

Thank you God for helping me find the pause.

Sermon on Galatians 5:1; 13-25

2010-06-28T19:54:00.002-05:00

This is my sermon from yesterday, 6/27; delivered at Salado Presbyterian Church... Oh yeah, the title is Freedom is found in Communion.

When I was 19 years ago and the first time being independently on my own, I lived on the central coast of California in a town called Morro Bay in San Luis Obispo county. Maybe some of you have heard of it. (I think the name of the town might have been referenced in a Beach Boys song.) My friend Paula and I made up this poem one day as we were sitting in my living room with its rugged cabinesque feel by virtue of its open wood beam ceiling and wood paneled walls. Heard in the background of our girlish giggles and the noise of the pencil as we scribbled down our enthusiastic rhymes were the sound of seagulls and sea lions. In this time of iconic communion, we wrote a poem on freedom. The first line of the poem started with the words, “Freedom rides on the wings of doves.” And the closing line, “Freedom beacons between you and me.”

The New Testament reading today comes from a letter Paul wrote to the church in Galatia. It can be divided into three parts: Christian Freedom; Things to Watch out for that can get in the way of Christian freedom; and, the Lovely things, the byproducts, Christian freedom provides. So to begin, what is the definition of freedom? In my research on this topic, I found that freedom can mean many things. Freedom is found in the ability to choose from many options. I am free to choose what I want to eat for dinner. Do I want to make home made tacos from scratch, which includes frying the corn tortillas in oil until it makes a perfect shell. Or do I want to go out to a restaurant. I have the freedom to choose between the hamburger and beer joint, or splurge on a restaurant that sells upscale Italian cuisine. Of course being a student, the latter is not always an affordable option.

Freedom can be the absence of social, economic or political oppression. Or, it can be in a psychological sense, the freedom found in the absence or removal of emotional barriers or stress. For example, when the woman in an abusive relationship is removed from that situation, and then placed in a safe environment, she experiences freedom. She is now free to spend time in healthier situations with spiritual and emotional direction to help overcome her former abuse.

And freedom, can be found through the ability to define a quality of controlling one's existence by a certain type of self mastery. Like recently, young Abby Sunderland who attempted to sail around the world. This same type of freedom might also include learning to master playing classical guitar, becoming an expert at growing vegetables, playing a round of golf, or teaching yourself to crochet. From the poem, Invictus by the English poet William Ernest Henley, “It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

Next week, next Sunday, one week from today, will mark the 234th time as a nation, we've honored Freedom. We've celebrated our Freedom as a nation that identifies freedom as the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. But, what does freedom mean for Paul, for the Christian church of Galatia, and for us today as Christians. What is Christian freedom? Paul writes to the Galatians, who are beset with bickering and inner fighting amongst themselves. He is trying to help them truly become free and not yoked, so to speak, with the harmfulness vicious bickering can bring. Paul writes in the first sentence of his letter that for freedom, Christ has set us free. We can now stand firm and do not need to submit to the yoke, the tight hold, of slavery found in self-centered behaviors that view others as rivals, instead of equally beloved children of God.

This first sentence of our New Testament reading today does two things. It sets up a precedent to serve God by trusting God; and by loving God. Hence, loving one another. Two things to remember: Trust and Love. When you accept the liberating work of Christ Jesus, you become a person who begins to trust the faithfulness of God. Once you learn to trust God 's faithfulness, then you learn to trust and take risks to serve your neighbor. The responsorial reading today was from Psalm 16. Psalm 16 starts with asking God for protection but then rests in a prayerful state of relying on that trust. Psalm 16 sets up the relationship of serving one another in the freedom of love, as it provides first and foremost our relationship with God.

Love. Love is to serve one another. Christian freedom through love is to be servants to one another. The writer of the gospel of Mark states in Mark 10:43-45, “But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you, must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you, must be slave of all. For the Son of Man (Jesus) came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” Now the ability to serve does not mean to be a doormat. It's the ability to trust God's lead and be available for God to move you, to compel you in an instant to serve in love. One source I found put it this way, “To serve through love means that serving is done not to meet the demands of the law or even to feel good about ourselves.” Moreover, “Christ frees us not only from the law, but from the sinful self. Freed from the self, we're free to serve the neighbor in love.”

It becomes all about Leviticus 19:18, which even if you do not recognize the scripture reference, you will recognize the phrase. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” One of the professors on my campus says in her recent book that “...in fact, our service [to others] is the concrete manifestation of our love, and our participation in the love of God.” Freedom is found in communion with one another. My professor further writes on the subject, “God's promise, God's grace and God's love are the basis; justice, mercy and humility are operative; bread, forgiveness and freedom are the evidence.”

This past spring term I took Christian ethics and learned about some of the theories of 20th century philosopher Emmauel Levinas, who said that he liked to explore the wisdom of love instead of how the Greeks refer to it, as exploring the love of wisdom. Levinas talked about the face-face encounter with the Other (Other is what we might refer to as Neighbor). He said, in this encounter with the Other, we see the Face of the Other and we're moved to act in love for the Other. Let me say this again by substituting Other with Neighbor. In this encounter with our Neighbor, we see the Face of our Neighbor, and we're moved to act in love for our Neighbor. Reason does not enter into the equation. We are gripped, or seized, by love to act on behalf of the Other, our Neighbor. When the earthquake in Haiti hit this past January, our reaction to pray or to give monetarily came naturally. We were seized by love, uncontrollably. Now, one small clarification. What is the Face? The Face is an old, ancient term to depict the way of acknowledging God's presence in the other person. Simply put, we are all God's creation, so the image of God, the Imago Dei, resides in all of us. We can go astray in different degrees, and we often do, but first and foremost we're beloved creations of God. God's children, and we honor that aspect in others. Levinas' theory, what he called the Ethics of Ethics, is also based upon the Hebrew concept of Hesed. Hesed is what Jesus Christ came to fulfill. The definition of Hesed is two fold. It means love. But, it's more than just love, it means steadfast love, loving kindness, a love that endures. The second prong to the concept of Hesed: God's promises. Through Christ, God keeps the promises set of compassion and mercy, thus loyalty to be in loving relationship with us. God's love endures.

At the beginning, I said that this passage in Galatians can be sub-divided into three parts. The first being Christian Freedom, which we've discussed. The two other parts I want to briefly address. The second part are those things that prevent us from loving (how I like to think about it, honoring ) our neighbor as ourselves; and end up destroying our communities. Paul writes about reacting out of jealousy or anger. Additionally, he brings up the dire effects of purposely bringing about dissension. That's a hard one I know because I'm one person that just needs to pull aside a friend to “vent”. But that “venting” can bring about dissension when we end up separating one person from others. Sometimes even unknowingly. But the other side of the coin, the third part of this message from Paul, provides us with the lovely things God's freedom brings. The things that guide us to lovingly serve others. Such things become the attributes of joy, peace, patience, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the byproducts that come from acting lovingly to others.

As you already know, I am a divinity student. I am approaching my last full semester in seminary. Needless to say, I am excited at seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I equate seminary with law school in terms of its emotional and intellectual intensity. A year passes and it feels like you’ve been laid out flat by twenty trucks in a row. Yeah, God’s workings is just slightly tiring, as I jokingly say with a smile and an exhausted shrug of my shoulders. This past Friday, I worked in my school library until noon, came home and ate lunch, cleaned my home and then continued my preparations to come to worship with all of you. In the midst of the day, I realized something. I hadn’t talked to anyone all day. I mean yes I greeted people coming into the library and so forth, but I didn’t have a true sharing of my heart and soul with anyone all day. It wasn’t until that evening when I called a dear friend from my church to wish her a Happy 70th Birthday, and tell her that she was loved and special to me that I felt the yoke of my self-involvement lift. In thinking about today’s message after I got off the phone, I suddenly came to the conclusion that freedom was found through love.

Freedom is found in loving communion with one another. We become available for God to seize us, to compel us to act in lovingly service with one another. Our faith must carry imagination for loving service to take wing. How have you served in love recently? For that is where freedom lies.

Amen

Cyber-Bullying and School Responsibility

2010-06-28T08:36:00.002-05:00

I came across this quote this morning out of the Times, "I have parents who thank me for getting involved, and parents who say, ‘It didn’t happen on school property, stay out of my life.’"
MIKE RAFFERTY, a middle school principal in Connecticut, on cases of online bullying.

As a former public educator this gives me great concern. What is a school's responsibility? What about technology. Has technology gone amok? Do we blindly accept it as a communication tool without truly understanding its limitations, harms, excesses, etc? I would love to know your thoughts. Here is the original article from the Style section of the New York Times. Clink here for the article.

Clean-up this blog...

2010-06-23T14:11:00.004-05:00

I've really had the best intentions in writing consistently. I'm working on discipline, my greatest foe, so as us all in our imperfection, I'm still trying with a clean slate in my hopeful reach.

I left some things untied in my last blog entry. One of it was the church advertisement that was printed in Newsweek. (The original blog entry that shows the picture is here). So, last week was my home church's VBS. The theme was pirates and Treasure Island, building upon the scriptural verse that says, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also," Matthew 6:21. In light of what we teach children and remind each other, the advertisement has a couple of troubling depictions along with the connotations it evokes. Like for example, the palatial home. Home and the warmth associated with a home is wonderful. It can be a beacon for healing, nourishment, rest and hospitality. But, if the home denotes outside aesthetics associated with success in terms of a sign of wealth, then it's entirely a different matter. So this depiction maybe needs to be rethought out. What about a picture showing a family or groups people breaking bread in candle light as an alternative? Another photo...the family. Family should be treasured,of course, but the depiction shows a family, white, attractive and blond. Is this an indicator of a typical Christian family, or what used to be referred to as a WASP family? This family also looks affluent. What is this depiction truly saying? If you find some of these pictures troubling, how can some of the negatives turn into positives?

Now on to Abby. I admire this young girl and do not hold judgment against her parents. This young girl has character and grit. She is self-possessed and smart. For those who criticize, are they really saying a teen-age young girl could never accomplish something of this magnitude. Would this fervor be the same if a boy Abby's age, which there has been recently, tried to accomplish the same thing? Just a few things to think about.

In Defense of Abby and other good postings

2010-06-16T14:35:00.006-05:00

I noticed two recent blog posts (listed on my blog scroll to the right)that were highly poignant to me, and ones that made me want to write about them. The first one I just noticed today, and the second has troubled me for the last few days. The first one is from a minister out of the Washington D.C. area, who writes under the blog title, A Church for Starving Artists. She writes on June 16 about what Christians value, that which plays out in the what they worship. The picture she uses is from a church advertisement shown in the June 21 issue of Newsweek. It shows a "perfect" affluent white family, a large suburban home, a nest egg piggy bank, stained glass depicting the two saints (I'm thinking Paul and Peter), a classic white church with pillars, and a leather bound bible. I'm thinking, does this portrayal really depict the gospel? The author of this blog writes,
"I've been thinking, too, about idolatry and the things we worship that are not God. Many of us worship the Bible. We worship our families (hence The Family Life Center.) We worship our churches. (Lots of people who self-identify as devout Christians worship the Bible and their churches.)....We also worship other stuff. At least I do. Idolatry is maybe the toughest commandment, even though we act like it's adultery." This makes me ponder what I do in terms of idolatry, what I worship that is not of God. Let's start with pride....Sidebar along these lines...I saw a display banner on the road for a church. The banner had a huge apple on it with one word in all caps, DECEIVED. Hmmm! That's a whole another topic for later, and I'm guessing the woman is blamed for the root of this deception. I found this funny at the time I saw it with the judgmental notion that crossed my mind, "oh how, theologically immature." Later, I wondered the value of my judgment.

Now to Abby...
I've been following this girl's story since her boat became severally damaged because of bad storms, leaving her boat, Wild Eyes, unsailable and her stranded at sea. I deeply admire this young girl. I remember how intrigued I was as a kid, when I saw the National Geographic story (and later reading the book)of Robin Graham and his boat, The Dove. Graham sailed around the world at age 16 too. What I wonder about is the huge backlash of criticism about this girl, and about her parents. One of the criticisms was about the cost of her rescue and who was to pay? What? Okay this makes me insane? Does saving someone's life cost too much? And the alternative would be to let her perish in the waters of the Indian Ocean! Well, some argue, she should not be out there in the first place. I'll continue this part of the discussion for another day. Look at the sidebar that links to Abby's blog for her answer to the critics. Tomorrow, I'll continue this discussion...

And One more

2010-06-14T10:06:00.002-05:00

Another I found by Yeats. (My favorite Yeats poem is the Second Coming in all it's rich darkness, light and deep authenticity.)

The Indian Upon God

I passed along the water's edge below the humid trees,
My spirit rocked in evening light, the rushes round my knees,
My spirit rocked in sleep and sighs; and saw the moor-fowl pace
All dripping on a grassy slope, and saw them cease to chase
Each other round in circles, and heard the eldest speak:
Who holds the world between His bill and made us strong or weak
Is an undying moorfowl, and He lives beyond the sky.
The rains are from His dripping wing, the moonbeams from
His eye.
I passed a little further on and heard a lotus talk:
Who made the world and ruleth it, He hangeth on a stalk,
For I am in His image made, and all this tinkling tide
Is but a sliding drop of rain between His petals wide.
A little way within the gloom a roebuck raised his eyes
Brimful of starlight, and he said: The Stamper of the
Skies,
He is a gentle roebuck; for how else, I pray, could He
Conceive a thing so sad and soft, a gentle thing like me?
I passed a little further on and heard a peacock say:
Who made the grass and made the worms and made my feathers gay,
He is a monstrous peacock, and He waveth all the night
His languid tail above us, lit with myriad spots of light.

In Honor of William Butler Yeats

2010-06-14T09:47:00.004-05:00

This is the birthday of William Butler Yeats. Yeats was born on June 14 of 1865. He died in 1939. Here's a short poem in his honor,
Gratitude To The Unknown Instructors
WHAT they undertook to do
They brought to pass;
All things hang like a drop of dew
Upon a blade of grass.

Happy Birthday William!

Update: I spied this birthdate from the New York Times. I must have been looking at Sunday's on-line Times instead of todays. William's birthday is actually June 13, born in 1865. Thank you to Mike C.'s little sister, Julie for the catch. So...Happy Belated Birthday William Butler Yeats !

Kinda Cute!!

2010-05-22T23:01:00.003-05:00

Saw this on Yahoo, and then on a blog site I frequent. It's kind of catchy. Now, if I could only stand on the vanity like that. :-). Enjoy.

One more class article...

2010-05-21T20:41:00.005-05:00

I wrote this piece about one of the pastors at my church who passed away this past December. David was one of those people who touched many lives. His kind, gentle spirit and huge smile left people feeling loved and encouraged. This week his three daughters took his remains to Haiti, a place that stirred a deep passion for David to help and care for its people. So, in his honor, here is the piece I wrote for my writing class about David. The topical prompt was Moments and Lessons; the title of the piece was The Undisclosed Box.
*********************************************
We do not know a significant moment until after it happens. It surprises us in tingling lucid stillness. This past Saturday morning I decided it was important enough to take a carload of “things” encompassed in a closed box from the duplex home of a friend to an unknown place of storage. Storage: also known as, “The girls only had like three days to make a decision before returning back to their lives. Right now they want to keep everything.” When I arrived lots of people were already there moving boxes onto the lawn to be loaded into cars. I went inside. Only undisclosed boxes marked by letter and number, and furniture stripped bare were apparent to the physical eye. Once most of things were out of the home, a Google map of directions was handed to each of the drivers for the goods future destination. And I was off to the place unknown to me, someone’s home in Round Rock. Before I officially left, I looked around the place someone once called home, one last time for anything left behind that my car could hold. Everything was gone, but then I noticed a cross still hanging above the light switch, left of the doorway. The cross was simple yet ornate, adhered to the wall by a simple white thumb tack. I took the cross down and mentioned to the people left in the room that someone forgot to pack this. I turned around and walked toward the kitchen and saw some other items not packed on the kitchen counter. I picked up a model of a 50s station wagon, an uncomplicated yellow cup and a ceramic vase with tiny flowers painted on the exterior. I mentioned I would take these things and put them in my car. On my way out the door, I picked up one more thing: an unopened canister of tennis balls I saw lying against the wall near the entry way that led to the bedrooms. As I got in my car, I set the items down in the front seat, wrapping my white cable-knit cotton sweater around the vase and the cross for safety. I started to drive off not wanting to think about the surreal nature of this moving of “things”.

It was only after I arrived to my home that I realized those items packed carefully and not as carefully marked the materialization of a revered one’s memory now gone from us. I stopped to think of where David might have gotten that cross, or the model car, or the vase, or even the cup. I stopped and smiled. What’s the reason for the tennis balls? I remembered. He loved tennis, and was part of a league, winning first place in his experience and age bracket. My mind went to the cross. Did the cross come from his missionary work in Russia? Did the other items have some semblance of specialness? Did it represent a young person whose life he touched, or just something that reminded him of his childhood? Or even, was it something that belonged to someone who mattered, to him? David who died exactly one week before Christmas day left behind three daughters, and testimony after testimony of humble adoration. To experience David was to experience the grace of God. He cleanly personified the definition of simple, uncomplicated love. David epitomized the attributes of patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. And those attributes rebounded.

People still write on David’s Facebook wall. Not long ago, one person wrote, “David, I am trying so hard and I wish I could be as good as you.” My memory of that statement struck something familiar within me. Wait, I want to be good. I want to be kind. I want to know the right thing to do, shown in a perfect way. I want to be like David too. But then, I remember that I cannot be another person. I am who I am. And, does Jesus want me to be good and right?

My education, my experience, my heart and my God tells me no. God wants me to be brave. By Jesus’ example, God wants me to be loving and thoughtful, all the while being mindful of hurt, pain, loneliness and oppression. Jesus shows me how to allow myself to become available to see the “Face of the Other“, regardless of who, and regardless of physical and historical characteristics. That was David’s example too. And just the same he was not completely good and right. He just remembered the humanity of others.

I drove way Saturday afternoon with David’s things laying on the carport organized by letter and number. My few odd items transported outside the barriers of an undisclosed box, now hand delivered to a friend. I sighed as I shifted from Park, to Reverse, then to Drive. In the midst of the sigh, I knew that I can not rest in a moment of giving up. I must try to revere the memory, the person; but let go, so the essence of the person and my memory of him can reverberate out. With God nothing is left behind, and with certainty, no one is forgotten.

Time will tell in what God will do with me

2010-05-19T20:01:00.003-05:00

Last Sunday I was the guest minister at Grace Presbyterian church in Temple. My time worshiping with this congregation and its new interim pastor was such a huge blessing for me. And one which I was extremely grateful. I not only wore a alb for the first time but felt for the first time confident and affirmed in my role as emerging pastor. It was a good feeling. Here is the sermon I preached....

Ephesians 1: 15-23
Sunday, May 16, 2010

Marking time, we're in the seventh Sunday after Easter. How time flies, as they say. It seems as if Easter Sunday was just last weekend. People mark time according to the seasons of life. In this current time, spring has bloomed, and the evidence of the summer season approaches with the earmarks of school getting out, summer weddings, longer days, flowers in bloom and warmer weather. With longer days upon us, hope of relaxation gives us a much needed change of pace and the opportunity for a renewed frame of mind. It’s kind of like the last 36 hours. Friday gave us a stormy day, but about 11 a.m. Saturday morning, an abundance of sunshine poured in to establish a day with low humidity and an ending high in the low 80s. Absolutely gorgeous. I don’t know about you, but it definitely gave me a renewed sense of being. Parker Palmer in his book Let your Life Speak, says summer abundance is “...created when we have a sense to choose community, to come together to celebrate and share our common store (107). And, Summer is the season when all the promissory notes of autumn and winter and spring come due, and each year the debts are repaid with compound interest. In summer, it is hard to remember that we had ever doubted the natural process, had ever ceded death the last word, had ever lost faith in the powers of new life (109).”

Eastertide, as this time is called, is the season when we find faith in those powers of new life. Today marks a significant passage of time, but this passage is one of liturgical time. Today is what is called Ascension Sunday. A diffident passage of time both for Jesus’ disciples and for us. Today commemorates the day that Jesus leaves his disciples and gives them the command to act as witnesses on Jesus' behalf, carrying forth the legacy of his love and his life, and allowing a pathway for his saving grace to flow. As described in Acts 1, Jesus ascends to heaven to sit at the right hand of God. Acts 1 reads,

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” When he had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. While he was going and they were gazing up toward heaven, suddenly two men in white robes stood by them. They said, “Men [people] of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”

Paul in his letter to the church in Ephesus helps clarify how Jesus comes to us. How Jesus is in the midst of us as we learn to live out the seasons of our lives in love and hope. Paul reminds us, as he reminded the people of Ephesus, about the marks of the church, and how we should relate to one another in Christ. The church in Ephesus was not much different than us in many ways. They struggled to find understanding in their faith; and desired to live in a way that was honorable and pleasing to God. They wanted to share Jesus' love. They wanted to share with others in the life-renewing changes they had received in their own lives through Christ's grace. Paul sees the hearts of the Ephesians and provides encouragement to them when he says,

“I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, and for this reason I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power.”

Paul wrote this, let's just say, a long time ago. So, in virtue of Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians, how do we get to know God today through the marking of time? How does the church mark the divinity of Christ through time? The answer lies in the simple yet profound. One of the commentaries I read says that the true Church embodies two characteristics: loyalty and love for Christ Jesus being number one. And number two: to love all of God's children. In the work of all of us together, Christ's church, we can show this love by caring for one another. Let me say that again. We can show this love through community and caring for one another. The Apostle Paul gives us the metaphor that Christ is the head and we're the body. Paul says, “And he has put all things under his feet and has made him the head over all things for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.” We are Christ's hands, feet, heart and muscle, unique and separate, but all vitally important in working together to show Christ's love to others. We show our love for Christ by loving one another, by being community with one another. We acknowledge that we are the body of Christ.

One of the commentators I looked at had this to say, Christ is the head; the church is the body. The head must have a body through which it can do its work. The church is quite literally hands to do Christ’s work, feet to run upon Christ’s errands, and a voice to speak Christ’s words. The Church this writer says is the complement of Christ. “Just as the ideas of the mind cannot become effective without the work of the body, the tremendous glory which Christ brought to the world cannot become effective without the work of the church.”

Now I know that this is easier said than done. In our society today, individualism is at a height. The “I” can often be the central focus. My opinion. My feelings. What makes me feel good. Not to mention, the individualism as its rooted into seeing only the differences of the denominations that make up Christ’s church. It can lead to an us versus them mentality. At the time of this letter to the church in Ephesus, the world which Paul lived and witnessed to was in complete disunity. You had disunity among Jews and Gentiles; and among Greeks and Barbarians. It was Paul’s contention that Jesus’s death brought all the elements of discord back together. Jesus drives all that separates us to a point of reconciling person to person, people to people, and then not done, reconciles each person back to God. We need each other to do God’s work. Seventeenth century poet and Anglican priest, John Donne put it this way, “No man is an island entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

And through this main, God works through us. Jesus works through us. It starts by doing small things. Small things have a way of making huge impacts. Each of us has a gift to give. Each of us can be the hands, the lips, the feet of Christ. Before I started seminary, I had an idea to write a book about the small ways people make huge differences in others lives. I spoke with and interviewed many pastors, leaders of non-profits like Impact Austin and Habitat for Humanity, and lay people who know that somehow their efforts make a difference because they give from a place of love. Almost every person I interviewed gave me this one kernel of truth. The idea that one kind act can change the world. One of my interviewees who is now a bishop in the greater Seattle Washington area told me a story. It was the story of a made for TV movie called Door to Door. Have you heard of it? The movie made in 2002 stars William H. Macy, and is about a man named Bill Porter. Bill worked as a door to door salesman for the Watkins company for nearly 50 years, as well as one of their top sellers. Bill’s genuine good nature and caring spirit helped make him successful. However, there was one thing that tried to limit Bill to what he was capable of doing. Bill suffers from the effects of Cerebral Palsy. This charming and giving man could not make a life for himself working in the world helping others, without the help of others. The movie has a sequence that shows others becoming a community for Bill. They support Bill by helping him in small, small ways like fixing his tie, making sure his hat was on straight, sharing some food with him, shining his shoes, or giving him a ride to the bus so he could start his route.

What are the ways you all become the hands and feet of Jesus? I was looking at your website and was noticing all the wonderful ways you all help become Jesus for the world. I noticed how you contribute to such organizations as Meals on Wheels, Church Touching Lives for Christ (CTLC), and providing Communion for those home bound. This is such a few among many other gestures of kindness and grace I notice you all bestow on others. In this season, find small ways to share what is common. Christ is in the midst of us. You can become God’s healing for the world through your kindness. Hope is renewed in this new season quickly approaching. The realization of that hope is seen by witness of the work of our hands. Dear Saints, how do you mark time? How can the hope found in Christ be renewed through you this summer?

Another Piece from the Writing Class

2010-05-14T08:32:00.003-05:00

This was the first piece I wrote on becoming a writer, or at least my experience with becoming a writer. Enjoy.
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Several years ago I was waiting in a long drive-thru line at McDonalds. It was probably in the low 40s and slightly blustery. When my car was just about parallel to the front door, a man walked out of the restaurant and walked across the parking lot in front of me. As a watched him get into his Ford F-series pick-up truck, I hesitated at first glance, but then said to myself out loud, “Now that’s an image I don’t want to ever forget. That man has a story to tell.” This man wore a neat beard, a cowboy hat and boots. Not too terribly out of place for Leander Texas, 25 miles northwest of Austin. But it was the rest of his apparel that didn’t quite fit with the cowboy boots and hat. In place of jeans was a Scottish tartan kilt, complete with belt, buckle and Sporran. All this accompanied, of course, with the traditional linen shirt to top the outfit off. No added overcoat was necessary.

For me, when it comes to developing the art of becoming a writer, I need to remember the human character. Along with that, noticing the irony, humor, joy, even the sadness in life. No judgment; just recognizing that every person has a unique story, and almost never is it easily what the casual observer would suppose. It’s learning sensitivity to aspects that resonate the human struggle to achieve, to care, to love, to lose, to conquer, and to be ourselves. Case in point. The 2010 Winter Olympics is underway in Vancouver Canada. Twenty-three year-old Hannah Kearney won the U.S.’s first gold medal in the moguls freestyle event. She was coming back from many tough breaks and disappointments. Before her winning race, her trainer gave her a card. The card had a lighting bolt on the cover and inside the card, it read, “25,000 steps climbed, 14,000 jumps on a rope or off a trampoline, 1000 tricks off ramps into a pool of water and 126 hours spent on a bike.”*

My second point to remember: Purpose. Writing should have some kind of intent; albeit, one not to blame, shame or enslave but to educate, encourage, and maybe even, entertain. Lofty goals but well worth it, I tell myself. When I’m inspired and not looking, the words flow. When I know my audience, my fear enables my words to trickle, stumble, break; and thus, I use the excuse of one more online game of mahjongg and then I’ll begin once again. This leads to my third point.

In my donning of a writer’s stance, superstitions abound in finding the perfect introduction, middle and end to my piece. Mind you, even with typing on the computer, a perfectly sharpened pencil with eraser at tip must grace my right side along with pastel colored sticky notes, just in case. I love the energy, excitement and personal eccentricities of writing. The playing in the pattern and rhythm of words often give way to an infused refreshment of thinking, “Wow, I wrote that!” Phrases like, “Living life in desired yet imperfect earnestness.” Fourth reminder: Be honest, and be yourself. Wear your heart on your sleeve but don’t necessarily commit harakiri on the page. Resign from fear and have the confidence to write from instinct. Be also able to learn to forgive and find patience in the process. Perfection of a piece in the first sitting is a rarity. And, it takes courage to admit that the writing was not what was imagined. Like for example with such phrases as, “I hold on to the dignity to survive the obstacles that belabor me with the tenacity of my entire might. Albeit, I later realize that the downside surfaces in my ability to confuse suffering in silence with earnest and compelling humility.” Fancy yes, but did anyone quite get what I just said. Okay, the fourth reminder was a bit over packed. Perhaps, I could sum up this reminder with one pointed remark: Relax and let God’s grace align with my own heart to speak truth with compassion.

*Reference: Passan, Jeff. “A bumpy ride ends in gold for Kearney” Yahoo Sports: http: sports.yahoo.com/olmpics/vancouver/freestyle_ski. Feb. 14, 2010.

Back to Regularly Scheduled Blogging

2010-05-12T12:22:00.003-05:00

Okay...my journal project for my writing class is complete. So, now I'm going to start blogging if not everyday, every other day. Well, at least a short term goal for the duration of this summer. Wish me luck because I need the disciple of consistent writing that's not for an academic paper. Yikes!!, right? So for my first restart for the hundredth time, here's the last article I wrote for my writing class. Let me know what you think :-).

How can I possibly fall when I know how to walk

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like not knowing. When I was barely out of my teens and on my own, I used to say, “Just let me know what’s ahead of me. I’ll be able to prepare and I can deal with anything that comes my way.” I must have certainty; for certainty leads to a life of self-control. This desired sense of fulfillment leads me to a favorite morning affirmation, “I need to get all my ducks in a row.”

Last spring term I was reintroduced to the idea of ambiguity. The word was used in the context of a seminary course on the New Testament of the Christian Bible. The declaration of ambiguity unfolded an idea that people live in the tension of knowing exactly who and what God is, how God operates, or simply not. I became aware that people must acknowledge this tension of knowing or not knowing, all the while leaning into this thing called ambiguity where faith rests. So a year later, I’m still struggling with the role of ambiguity in faith. I’m still struggling with just saying the word ambiguity, let alone the juxtaposition of faith to ambiguity. Does that mean that doubt embraces faith; and certainty brushes across the cheek of being non-faithful?

This past autumn, walking with purpose across the street from where I live, I fell. I could not accept the fact that I had simply fallen and hit my head. I built a whole story, with certainty mind you, of how the speed of my walk combined with the type of tennis shoe I was wearing allowed my toe to be caught in the uneven portion of the sidewalk. If nothing else, it made the story more interesting than the plainly spoken: In the act of not being able to regain my balance after stumbling, I fell. Falling was not part of the plan that day. Five and a half months later, I still do not walk with the certainty in my steps as I did before. I felt so dumb and at a loss. How could I fall when I know how to walk.

I’ve heard the Yiddish proverb, “Man plans; God laughs.” This colloquialism loosely based upon a line in Psalm 33 speaks of God frustrating the plans of the people. It leaves some doubt as to the assuredness in which we start each new day. But as for me, I’m learning that the faith in God does not come from a point of having to understand, but from the transforming fire of grace. The specifics of life are unknown. Many of us would not contest that notion. Events we’re looking forward to get canceled. Accidents occur. Work is not found. Cancer is diagnosed. Feelings are hurt. People are dismissive. And loved ones die without warning. However, in the midst of the doubt and through the ambiguity of faith, grace is found.

Grace is in the moment of exasperation that breaks into an unexplainable sense of peace, by a smile from a stranger, the phone call from the long lost relative, or even just the right advice that brings comfort in the moment. Theologian Paul Tillich said in a sermon, Struck by Grace, “In grace something is overcome; grace occurs in spite of something...Grace is the reunion of life with life...” We cannot have all the answers but in the midst of the tension of ambiguity, we can embrace the mystery of not knowing by finding the grace to be open to where the mystery calls us.

Journal Entry #10

2010-05-09T19:25:00.003-05:00

This post carries an alias name: Closure. This last entry is also late.....

Nevertheless, here it is. The semester has ended and well, things again are not the way I had planned. This semester, no scratch that, this year has been rough to say the least. And, I am left, well, tired. Albeit, slowly regaining my sense of self. On my 100th post of my blog, here are the things I learned through my writing class:

*Be myself
*Be authentic and true
*Keep it simple and concise, but hey it's still me, put my chin out with an air of sophistication
*Trust God and be patient
*I might not be the best or even any good, but my work done in earnest still has value
*Reflect on what I'm actually meaning and saying...what's the best means to communicate

*Courage is found in honesty
*I am who I am, I will be who I will be (not to be confused with God who is I AM), and that's okay. What's not okay is not being willing to bend so someone else can better understand me, and more importantly so I can better understand them.

What to do now

Learn to allow myself to be open for God's love to flow
Write more often and with eyes set toward publishing
To carry on with my shoulders relaxed and not looking down.

Journal Entry #9

2010-05-04T15:11:00.002-05:00

Tuesday Afternoon
4:30 p.m.

It was asked in class today: How has this class (the writing class) changed you spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally? In the last two posts I write, I'm going to think about some specific answers or musings directed toward that question. I'm going to process that question. My first thought is that it has not changed me much. Maybe it's helped me write cleaner and more frugal with my words, (more bang for my buck so to speak...thank you Michael) but it has not changed me in terms of challenging me to go places I have not been before in the art of self expression, or fine tune my writing style. If anything, I've doubted myself. Maybe, because of where I was this semester in my relationship with God and my comfortability within myself that's to blame. Maybe it's a dose of humility within my competitive nature that's been taken to task. All in all I think, I wasn't in a place I could articulate any positive outreach to others. My soul was tired this semester and it showed. That sounds strange, but in the next two postings I'll wrestle with this.

Journal Entry #8

2010-05-02T19:56:00.004-05:00

Monday Morning
9 a.m.

The art of the encouraging compliment. Now that's what I call an ambition, to fine tune the majesty of that form. Someone gave me a compliment last week that's stayed with me. And continues to work on encouraging me in new ways. The person said, "It really sucks what happened to you but you've really rallied." The rallying part is the encouraging part. It's a part of who I am. It feels good that it was recognized. Now I need to rally once again for the ceremonial end of the semester. The flood of papers needing to be written at once. I have to believe. I have to rally. And I need to pass on the inconspicuously delivered encouraging compliment that rebounds and rebounds.

Journal Entry #7

2010-05-02T19:37:00.004-05:00

Sunday Early Evening:
7:40 p.m.

Today I reflect on how far I've come. I always think in a childful way, "I wonder where I'll be a year from now" "I wonder if something good will enter my life in the next year?" "What will I be doing? What I'm actually saying is I hope some of my dreams will be fulfilled and life will be exciting, and maybe even I will become a better person at the end mark of another year. Somehow I'll be changed. Every year is full of challenges. This year seems to punctuate that remark. But, this morning as I preached and presided for a small congregational out in the Bee Caves area, I came to an understanding. One real quick sidebar: Didn't hurt to my epiphany that this church meets in a picturesque wedding facility that looks like something from another era. Back to my awakening: This was the seventh time I've preached in a public setting as part of a liturgical service. (Not counting the many times I led worship out at the Trinity Center) I preached five times while interning and two times in the capacity of visiting preacher. This time, I put together the prayers and even picked out the music. I never thought that would happen...seven times to write and deliver a sermon. Wow!! And, I actually getting good at it and enjoy it. What is God conspiring on my behalf with all this experience?

Journal Entry #6

2010-04-30T18:19:00.003-05:00

Friday Night
April 30, 2010

"Somehow I have to trust that God is at work in me and that the way I am being moved to new inner and outer places is part of a larger movement of which I am only a very small part." Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus.

That quote was taped to the computer at the McCord Hospitality desk. It speaks to me in a hopeful place in my being. I'm working tonight at the desk and suffering from writer's block. I am also suffering from anxiety as I head into a weekend where I'm presiding at a church foreign to me and preparing to write my final papers due next week, the last week of school. I'm also anxious about the heading into a summer, not attending any classes, without any income or financial aid help. Yikes as they say. Hence, my attraction to the quote taped to the desk. I remind myself, "God is still in the midst of me, of this world."

I used to be a very good writer. I used to be a very beautiful writer, taking my time with words, actually agonizing over words, in the vein of Hemingway. Now, I do what I can to get by. Is it stress, or have I lost my talent? I wonder. Maybe I never had any talent to begin with.

Journal Entry #5

2010-04-20T12:26:00.003-05:00

Tuesday afternoon
12:30 p.m.

Awhile back there was an ethics workshop for senior students. For a number of reasons, I did not go. However, one of the topics discussed for the students participating was to journal on this thought: "what would tempt you from fulfilling your call." I ponder on that. That is a great question to think about...what would tempt me from fulling my call. Sounding strange for someone in seminary but simply the doubt within my circle of faith. It's the underlining gird that somehow I can love God without question, but that God does not necessarily have to love me back. Am I thinking that somehow I am undeserving of God's love. How many others feel this exact same way? More later...

Journal Entry #4

2010-04-18T20:12:00.002-05:00

Monday, 5:48 p.m.
In remembering who I am, the hardest part is when I feel devalued and scoffed by others. I know that sounds very whiny and poor me. But, all people, experience at one time or another in their lives, if not on a daily basis, disregard. Some people react in a child-like or adolescent manner and become defensive. Some stuff the emotion down, like I do. I might briefly become enraged but then acquiesce to thinking, I don't amount to much so what does it matter. Hence, the offense and the emotion unacknowledged. When we are devalued, is it a degree of violence? According to one of my professors, the philosopher Emmanuel Levinas thought so. Levinas thought that even when someone smiles and says hello to another on the street and the gift of the greeting is ignored, then an act of violence (even though not overt) occurred. In the midst of our busy lives, and others we come across treat us rudely with ill regard or absentness of thought or care, is it a reflection of who we are as God's creation, or our value as a whole? Intellectually, I know the answer is no. In my heart, I don't always believe that's true. I grabble with how to deal with it.

Journal Entry #3

2010-04-15T12:53:00.006-05:00

Thursday afternoon, 4/15.

Being in the third year of seminary, I still feel lost of who I am and my capabilities, gifts and talents. Someone told me yesterday that I wanted another to tell me what to do. Is that indicative of losing my internal voice and confidence? Or is that indicative of being tapped out in energy, and pulled time and commitment. Until later...

For example in my passion of writing, my work only suffices upon the first draft with the verbiage to go along with it, "well, that will have to do." Before, I would spend days preparing a paper, and when I read it back again a year or months later, I re-witness my love for words and the craft of writing. Next, I realize this: it comes down to trusting my inner voice, it's still me, I remind myself. It also comes down to resting in the acknowledgment of God's calling of me...what is God calling me to do that leads to my purpose? I know it's about trusting this mantra that unites me to God with this refrain: I see God as Jesus sitting next me. He offers me reassurance of his comforting presence, his strength and his peace. It reminds me of his eternal love for me. One thing a friend said yesterday: She sees God in feminine form, as a mother. God, in her loving grace, she welcomes me home.

Journal Entry #2

2010-04-11T17:21:00.004-05:00

Sunday, April 11
5:30 p.m.

Two thoughts are circulating: Why do I struggle with the ambiguity of life, and what am I most recently learning about myself. Since beginning Seminary, actually, since I made the leap from full-time teacher to full-time student, I've struggled with remembering my true voice, personality and God living within me. I go to Seminary. I study and talk, and think about God seven days a week, sometimes 18 hours a day of that time. So, why have I stopped remembering who I belong to? In one of the entry level classes, one of my professors told us a story. He said that when we come into seminary, we're holding a crystal ball made up of beliefs, experiences and what we've learned about God in our lifetimes. The learning, examining, and evaluating of ourselves, and our faith while in Seminary smashes that crystal ball to pieces. But slowly through the time of learning in the institution, that ball comes back together, it's pieces brought together in new and magnificent ways. Slowly, that's been the case for me. But why, oh why does it have to be such an exhausting process, or is the operative word, ordeal.

1st Journal Entry

2010-04-09T12:38:00.002-05:00

Okay...for the entire semester I was supposed to be keeping a journal for my writing class, but guess what, that's right, I've put it off. So, I'm starting it now and subsequently sharing it with all of you. So, enjoy for all it's worth. :-).

I don't like journal writing but I like writing. I learned to write and I taught writing. Is the reason for my hesitance for journal writing stemming from my reluctance to get close to my feelings? To process my wounds, my gratefulness, and my learning succinctly in black and white? I wonder. I wrote in a journal this past January. In this journal, I asked God a question and let my pen flow conjointly with the spirit in my mind, as it manifested itself by virtue of my hand scripting out words on a page. What angle do I take with this? What awareness am I drawing upon today? Answer: I cannot deal with Ambiguity.

Good Friday Tradition

2010-04-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

When I was a little girl growing up in a suburb of Los Angeles, I remember every Good Friday the song by Dion, Abraham, Martin and John was played on the radio. It was always deeply touched me on almost a cellar level. On Good Friday, I still always think about this song (and play it). I think about the brokenness and woundedness of all in the world, and pray for true redemption. Three days out from Easter, it's a good time to reflect and pray for forgiveness, and pray for brightness and newness, and purity. It's a good time to pray for the healing from bigotry, prejudice and hatred.

Give_away

2010-03-16T11:43:00.002-05:00

I have not blogged in forever and a day, but my friend Beth is having a give-away for organic lollipops, and suddenly I was motivated to help her out :-). Here is the link to her page for details on the give-away (Yummy Organic Lollipops). Good Luck!!! Thanks for reading, laurel. Oh yeah, click on this Lollipop :-).

Heaven Help Me

2010-01-28T12:27:00.005-06:00

This video was passed along this morning by a classmate. I've watched it a number of times and moved to tears by it. I don't have overt addictions, but like every other person, struggle with inner pain. I come across, and probably am genuinely, kind, thoughtful, emphatic and honest to a fault, but inside I see myself as probably not the nicest of people. Like so many, I battle depression and low self esteem. I stuff down feelings to hide behind a heroically stoic face. This song's reminder and my work learning at Austin Recovery this January term has deeply moved me, and changed me. We're powerless without God; albeit, as Niebuhr writes in the Serenity Prayer, "God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed." And, "courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

The Conundrum of Loving One's Enemies

2010-01-19T11:30:00.002-06:00

This is what I wrote for my home church's website, to run January 25-29. I was very limited by the word limit so I really could not get into the topic at hand. But, it should just wet the appetite...to give pause on the topic of Loving One's Enemies. Let me know what you think. I honestly want to know. Perhaps, I should have gone with my other choice for a short essay: the early Christian practice of kissing :-). Here it is:

"I was in my school library recently and I was having a discussion with a friend. She was questioning the differences between the established patterns of traditional thought found in the old testament and Jesus’ antithesis of these accepted behaviors found in the new testament. My friend asked, “How can we stand up for justice in the world and still love our enemies? When we love our enemies are we somehow justifying their wrong doing, or excusing the injustices they impose on others?” What does Jesus mean as it’s attributed in the gospel of Matthew, “You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,...” (Matt 5:43-44).

After our discussion, I went to my main source of wisdom for topics like this, Martin Luther King Jr. In November of 1957, King delivered a famous sermon on the subject of loving our enemies. For King, love held redemptive power and even though there is no excuse for the behavior of the injustice, the redemptive power of love can transform. King said that hate for hate intensifies the existence of hate, but if you can inject the hate with love, then the chain of hate is cut off. King said that loving our enemies starts with ourselves. It’s seeing the other with love because God loves that person. “When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power, you seek to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system.” For me, what remains is a tension of hating the consequences of the action while still loving the offender. Something to pray about."

Franciscan Prayer of Blessing

2010-01-12T20:55:00.000-06:00

Franciscan prayer of blessing:

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers,

half-truths and superficial relationships,

so that we will live deeply in our hearts.

May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression

and exploitation of people and the earth,

so that we will work for justice, equity and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer,

so that we will reach out our hands

to comfort them and change their pain to joy.

And may God bless us with the foolishness to think that

we can make a difference in our world,

so that we will do the things which others say cannot be done.

Which imprint do you choose?

2010-01-09T20:11:00.003-06:00

I'm not too often excited about, or into a certain television program. However, this year I became turned onto a show called Dollhouse, created by Joss Whedon. Unfortunately, it's been canceled but it's got one of the most interesting, and controversial premises I've seen in a long time. From Wikipedia (I know not a very reliable source), "The show revolves around a corporation running numerous underground establishments (known as "Dollhouses") across the globe which program individuals referred to as Actives (or Dolls) with temporary personalities and skills. Wealthy clients hire Actives from Dollhouses at great expense for various purposes. The series primarily follows the Active known as Echo, played by Eliza Dushku, on her journey towards self-awareness."

What's interesting about this show to me is how the show lifts out the interlinking complexity of personality, the masks we wear, the ego, the shadowed self, and the soul. Can our personality change according to our environment? Can bad memories be wiped away; can the brain be reprogrammed? Do talents and skills necessarily match personality? Just some of the thoughts that the show lifts out for me. I found the following Fox publicity video to promote the show. The actors of the main characters talk about what skill sets they would want to be imprinted, or programmed with. It's kind of fun. What skills would I want to be imprinted with....I liked some of Eliza Dushku's answers. I too would want to be imprinted knowing many languages, especially French. (Just find it a beautiful language.) I would want to be athletic, a figure skater. I would want to be a great singer. (A childhood fantasy is that I wanted to be a famous Broadway singer, actress and dancer.) Since I am afraid of almost everything :-), I would be imprinted with lots of bravery...climbing skills, fighting skills, you name it. But most of all, I would like to be imprinted with a combination of political acuity and a sanguine personality, so I can truly be a peacemaker in the world. I would would like to have a spirit like a Dr. Paul Farmer, or start an organization like Doctors Without Borders.

How about you. What skills would you like to be imprinted with?

New year's tradition by virtue of last year's movies

2010-01-05T08:30:00.002-06:00

For the past couple of years, I've taken David Edelstein's top 10 Movie's of the year going out list (in this case top 13) and watched each movie. David Edelstein is the film critic for the NPR program, Fresh Air and New York Magazine. . Edelstein always has a interesting commentary on how what's happening in society mirrors itself in the films we make and watch. For example, he said at the end of the last decade, the movie, the Matrix (1999) was all about that our reality was not real, and that we must break through an illusionary life to something that is tactile and real; versus, the new movie, Avatar where the shift is that we can go into a make-believe fantasy world to fulfill potential and rewrite history. It's like, Edelstein says, "We hunger for our virtual selves to take on the final frontier."

Here's Edelstein's list:
1. Summer Hours
2. Everlasting Moments
3. Brothers
4. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
5. Tyson
6. A Serious Man
7. Coraline
8. In the Loop
9. Food, Inc.
10. The Hurt Locker
11. Of Time and the City
12. Where the Wild Things Are
13. Avatar

Have you seen any of these? I just watched Edelstein's number one movie, Summer Hours. I watched it on Netflix instant movies. Exceptional. A.O. Scott of the New York Times says that Summer Hours is "Quietly Ravishing". He continues, "...it's a coherent and complex exploration of the current shape of the world." Edelstein remarks that it deals beautifully by exploring the losses we suffer as we move toward becoming a more global community.

I found two other top 10 lists, both from gentleman who write for the New York Times, A. O. Scott and Manohla Dargis. Click on their names to see their lists.
I'll keep this blog updated as I watch ;-).

Oh my Goodness

2009-12-30T22:13:00.003-06:00

KXAN was covering David's memorial service tonight. It's a beautiful portrayal of David. Enjoy the video..I'll probably update it to the one from the 10 p.m. broadcast. It shows more of the coverage from the Memorial Service. Lastly, here is the link to Donald Miller's blog site, which has the eulogy he spoke tonight. p.s. The photo in the corner is David's truck parked inside Journey at the reception after :-). Also, read my tribute to David below. David, thank you so much for all the love and lessons!!! Oops and I almost forgot, here's the link to the eulogy. Click here

A Champion

2009-12-19T07:10:00.009-06:00

This post was actually written, Wednesday, December 30; the day of David's Memorial.

One of my favorite lines in a contemporary movie is one very simple, and one that may or may not be actually true. The line goes, "The Greeks didn't write obituaries-they only asked one question when a man died; did he have passion."
Passion is the driving force for any of us...the passion to care, the passion to love, the passion to live....is it a gage for success of one's life as perhaps the Greeks felt? I don't know. But what I do know is that my friend and pastor, David Gentiles had great, great passion. He felt things strongly. He loved strongly and he cared strongly. All the while, remaining extremely humble and unassuming. Writing about David is hard for me. This is something I wanted to do since Friday, Dec 18; the evening he died. But never did, and now even struggling to write. If I write about him in the past tense, then I'm professing that his physical presence is no longer with us anymore. Something very hard to swallow. Something very hard to come to terms with.
Over the last week and a half, I've remembered every conversation and interaction with him. I remember planning a thank you dinner with him; a remember sharing my poems with him; a remember a shared moment of God's clarity and light when I went back to school; a remember teasing with him (he had such a good sense of humor); I remember running to him when I was upset or troubled...the list could go on and on. And what's so remarkable is that not only for me, but for dozens upon dozens, hundreds rather or so people could say the same thing.
David was humble. I'm trying to remember all of David. Those times when I know I annoyed him, or he bothered me; as well as, the touching moments of understanding. He sometimes shared that he questioned his purpose or his impact. My experience with him is that he loved to have fun but equally was private and reserved...he could separate himself at times and even be a little melancholy. But, this never lasted long. David was a rock for others. When he talked to you, he never held an agenda. He was always patient, honest and kind. Simple words cannot encompass the impact and purpose this man held for others. Simple words cannot encompass the impact and purpose this man held for me.
Once I sat next to David at a funeral. After telling him to scoot over because he was sitting where I wanted to sit, he obliged with goodness in spite of my insolence. And then, in the middle of the service, something touched his spirit and he teared up (David could cry easily and often did :-) ), I took his hand and whispered to him, "Only a man that's so close to God, could feel things so strong." That statement was so true about David...David chose to be close to God...he lived the good news of Christ with every breathe he took. He left himself open to God's Spirit and direction. I could give a multitude other examples of his goodness and the time he gave of himself unselfishly to others.....
I'll end this post with something he wrote thanking the people who worked on getting the warehouse up to city codes and a functional space.

"This is what it said, "HOPE THIS IS NOT TOO GLIB…BUT IT IS JOURNEY-ISH

I once had a friend who would get into a crowded elevator, and after the doors closed he would turn around to face the rest of the riders and declare, “Well, I guess you are wondering why I called this meeting!” There is no such uncertainty about why we called this meeting tonight…you (the collective you) are the very reason that we are now sitting having this dinner in this wonderful space that God has provided for us. You painted, you cleaned, you hammered, you measured, you drilled, you provided food, you prayed and you made it possible for this community to gather to scatter, and have a place to scatter from. “Thank you” is much too small and cliché a phrase to adequately express how immensely grateful we are for your time, energy, love, passion and sacrifice…but it will have to do…along with this chicken dish, of course. Thank you…and THANK YOU GOD!"

Thank you God for David, who was our champion, our rock who gave us his energy, passion and sacrifice. Words cannot adequately express how grateful we are that he touched our lives. I cry today because of both the gratefulness and the void he leaves in the hearts of others.

Lastly, here is excerpts from a eulogy sermon given by Greg Rickels for local Austin dance legend, Boyd Vance, who died in 2005. These words are very comforting to me. When I substitute Vance's name with David's, it describes my grief, our grief and who David was. Ironically, the beginning and ending of the excerpts are attributed to words by Don Miller. David influenced Miller's life profoundly as a youth and who became like a father for Miller.

The night Boyd Vance died I could not sleep. Many of us couldn't. It was so hard to shut our eyes that night. I sat up in my living room, and began reading a book that I had just received by Don Miller. The book is entitled Blue Like Jazz. On the very first page are these words: "I never liked Jazz Music because Jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theatre in Portland one night when I saw a man playing a saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked Jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It's as if they are showing you the way." It was as if Miller was speaking to me, or the Holy Spirit was, about this man, who had just passed, who we loved so much. Our brother, Boyd Vance, on countless occasions, closed his eyes in love of his craft, and in the process opened the eyes of so many. In fact, the number of changed lives, the number of those who could now love something, because of him, is infinite, unknown. Some may not even know it themselves, that this small man, with a huge heart, and not just a few opinions, had moved them to a new place. He indeed did show us the way.

Of course, Boyd would have never seen it that way, never agreed with that. He was rather humble, for all of his talent and skill.

Sadly, Boyd will not see 89, not here. I am profoundly sad about that, profoundly and selfishly sad about that. I know you all share that with me. His parting leaves a hole in my, and in my community of faith, and in my community in which I live. I miss him dearly. We all do. He didn't see 89 but, and this is what we celebrate today, he will see eternity, and someday we will see him.

Like so many of you, I look back on moments, just weeks ago, with Boyd, and wonder about life, the tenuous nature of it. His unwanted, but certainly realized, gift to all of us in these last few days, since April 9th, is not to take so quickly for granted this life. In this last week, goodbyes have been a little more intentional and heartfelt, tinged with a bit more grief than normal. We look into the eyes of the ones we love and keep ourselves fixed a bit longer than before. We treat each other with a bit more consideration.

That, most likely, will wear off after a while. It has to, really. We will, hopefully, keep just enough to make our lives a bit more full, but it is difficult to stay in that awareness for long. Distance from our mortality is something that helps keep us sane. This one may take a little longer.

I will miss his performances, on and off stage! I simply miss him, period.

I will miss him for the way he loved children. I will miss how he shared himself with them. I will miss him for his generosity in material and spirit. I will miss how he loved his heritage and sharing it, and sharing it in a way that every person, of every color, of every station in life, loved to hear it too. You can add to the list, and all of us could go on and on.

As I sat in my living room, late at night, I could not help but think of him when I read those words, "I never liked Jazz Music because Jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theatre in Portland one night when I saw a man playing a saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked Jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It's as if they are showing you the way." But it doesn't end there; there were just a few more. Miller finished with these words: "I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."

Boyd, you, my friend, happened to me, you happened to us. We here today are so grateful for it. You have taught us to love many things, by our watching you love those things. Your eyes were closed, so our eyes could be opened. You have done it for us one last time. You have taught us there is resolve, in the things we do, in the way we love, in the God we know.

Boyd, until we meet again, until we hear that sweet voice, and see your warm smile, and gaze into those sparkling mischievous and marvelous eyes, go in peace, and know you go with our most profound admiration, our heartfelt thanks, and our eternal love.

David, go in peace...may we carry the torch of your life, and as you prayed over me, may we be equal to the challenge...

Amazing....

2009-12-18T14:22:00.000-06:00

2009-12-14T17:24:00.000-06:00

Wow!! This is what I call Holiday inspiration :-).

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/video.

Clever way to think about something new....

2009-11-27T07:20:00.002-06:00

I saw this on today's Times...I thought it was cleverly done and brought a message worth thinking about. Take a look....easiest way is to click here :-).

Must Blog...

2009-11-20T07:59:00.002-06:00

Recently, I took a pretty bad fall that has left me not my self in many ways. In the midst of whining about the pain and the fog, and not being myself. I stumbled (excuse the pun) upon this video. It's Dave Matthew's video for the song You and Me. I really liked the concept and theme. Like, really found the concept and theme deeply profound, and one that goes quite well with the series of thoughts I started a few weeks ago. Let me know what you think. :-).

Dave Matthews Band - You & Me (Official Music Video) - The most amazing bloopers are here

Forgiveness, Healing and Spirtual Abuse, or is it the other way around

2009-11-06T08:13:00.002-06:00

My intention was to write with a little more frequency when I got the idea of my next writing series. Best laid plans of mice and men, as they say. School and busyness of papers and reading assignments take precedent; but when I woke up this morning and saw a post of a new blog I frequent, called the carnival in my head. The person who writes it is the co-pastor of a church called The Refuge in the Denver area. I've liked what I've read on it so far, and this morning was no exception. The writer, Kathy, talked about Spiritual Abuse and the pain people experience from bad church experiences, experiences from people. I can theorize through all I've read/studied in school on the reasoning, etc., but it's (Spiritual Abuse) an area that needs addressing. The pain is still real and raw in many circumstances. Kathy gives an account of one woman's story. It's worth a read, especially in light of the future posts I'm planning on diversity and learning from one another, incited from my friend Nikki's senior sermon. Click here to go directly to the post and let me know your thoughts.

You can win the Easiest/Best Bread Book ever!!

2009-11-03T06:48:00.002-06:00

My friend Beth is having a contest to win a free copy of the book, Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a Day!! Please visit her blog by clicking here!. She talks a bit about the book and her success with some of the recipes. She even puts a link to a video where you can try the bread making technique for free. To enter her contest, all you have to do is leave a comment and write down my name in the comment section that you found out about her contest through me. It's that easy. Hope you win. If I win, I just might share. :-). Good Luck!!

Park your donkey for a minute and look around.

2009-10-26T22:31:00.004-05:00

I know, I know, it's been forever since I posted...part of the reason is because I wanted as many people as possible to see the first thing on my blog, my note titled, A Circle of Wisdom. (If you haven't read it yet, please take a moment to read it, or reread it, and give me any feedback that comes to mind. Your ideas are important to me.) So, I'm back from my hiatus from blog writing, and now I want to share bits and segments from my dear friend Nikki's senior sermon and my reflections upon it. Her sermon deeply moved me today for several reasons. The first reason was it's premise is near and dear to my heart. Namely, my focus of the importance of becoming united in our faith all the while keeping our diversity in tact; and seeing past the hurts and disappointments people, through the vehicle of religion, can exert on us . Impossible you might say...maybe not so much. I'm going to take this step by step. I'm going to include scripture, creeds, my understanding of what I learned in my New Testament class, and in my Old Testament class...what I learned in theology and from some of my favorite writers and poets. I might even end the series with a my own creed, and perhaps some of you can join in the writing of it. The title of this blog series, Park your donkey for a minute and look around.. This was a quote directly from Nikki's sermon and it stood out to me as a great play on words in light of the 1st century Christian juxtaposed with the 21st century person, Christian or otherwise.
The first thing to ponder: The pericope from Acts 2: 1-13, which Nikki's sermon was based upon. What does this passage mean to you? What words jump out? How does it apply to your life today?

Acts of the Apostles 2.1-13
The Coming of the Holy Spirit

2When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. 2And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. 3Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.

5 Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. 6And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. 7Amazed and astonished, they asked, ‘Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? 8And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? 9Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, 11Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.’ 12All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, ‘What does this mean?’, 13But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’

Circle of Wisdom

2009-10-01T17:08:00.002-05:00

Last week I wrote a Facebook status that said, “Looking for ingenuity, inspiration and wisdom...”. I'm naming and enunciating that very same status with all of you now through this note. I am at a place in life, in my seminary journey namely, where I am needing to gather wise and imaginative people around me for advice and inspiration. Some aspects of my request come out of simply needing to help problem solve; some lie in the realm of needing rejuvenation from working so hard for so long without much true Sabbath in between. I'm looking for trusted people made up of different ages and backgrounds to gather around me in a circle of wisdom.

Glimpse of the Issue:
Two years ago I made a commitment to God, the Austin Seminary community, my home faith community and to myself to follow a calling and go to seminary. That first year I juggled teaching full time and school. I quickly discovered I could not do both together sane-fully :-). So, I put forth everything I had (sold my home and cashed in my TRS savings) to go to school full time and live on campus. Additionally, at the same time, I made the decision that I needed to switch degree plans to provide me with a more professionally balanced educational base that could potentially open more employment opportunities after I graduated. Financially and emotionally that was not part of the plan but I believed God's hand was upon me and somehow everything would work itself out. Along the way in the last year, God has given me confirmation that I'm where God wants me to be. Not only have I grown intellectually and spiritually, but I just completed a successful hospital internship and am currently interning in a congregational setting with nurturing and faithful people. I've made strides in wrestling with some of my inner conflicts to push my own self out of the way in order to be open and available to hear God's rhythms in and around others, which ultimately leads to having the pastoral skills to help others find God for themselves in spite of any brokenness.

With all that all said, even though I am working two campus jobs, receive a substantial tuition scholarship and small student loans, my original monetary means have just about run out. I am looking for a circle of wisdom to surround me with prayer and help me come up with creative solutions. That's the problem solving aspect. The flip side of the same coin is the aspect of what I call, infused refreshment. It's the encouragement of inspiration and knowing that support is given in acceptance, understanding and love. It's not the hand out but the hand up. It's the arm around the shoulder in prayer. It's seeing the finish line in the distance and knowing there's a glass of water being held out from the sidelines. It's sharing in a bit of healing fun. It's all reciprocal, grace-filled and God blessed, and thus much appreciated.

Please consider being apart of my circle of wisdom. I actually would like to have a get-together with folks soon where I can gather ideas and brainstorm ways I can “survive” and thrive in the next 18 months or so. (I hope to graduate in May 2011, but may be able to finish coursework as early as the end of the 2010 fall term. At the start of this coming spring semester, I'll have 125 credits completed toward the 180 needed to earn a MDiv., so that means I'll have 55 credits left to graduate after this coming January, each course being typically six credits each. )

Circle of Wisdom
If you're willing to be apart of the meeting circle, please leave a comment to indicate that and your availability. If not, I would be blessed by a note of encouragement, and or an idea you can share with me. Please include me in your prayers and how I might pray for you in return in Christ's love.

Much, much love,
Laurel

International Peace Day

2009-09-21T20:07:00.003-05:00

In honor of International Peace Day, here's a fun yet practical video,

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And, here's a cookie recipe thrown in, and the cookies are called, what else but, World Peace Cookies.

Check out this blog post...it's a must

2009-09-16T21:41:00.001-05:00

Check out this blog post...and leave me a comment on what you think. Click here

Everyday Justice: A Review

2009-09-11T12:12:00.005-05:00

Martin Luther King Jr. writes in From Where Do We Go From Here, “All men are interdependent. Every nation is an heir of a vast treasury of ideas and labor to which both the living and the dead of all nations have contributed. ...We are everlasting debtors to known and unknown men and women. When we arise in the morning, we go into the bathroom where we reach for a sponge which is provided for us by a Pacific islander. We reach for a soap that is created by a European. Then at the table we drink coffee which is provided for us by a South American, or tea by a Chinese or cocoa by a west African. Before we leave for our jobs we are already beholden to more than half the world....We are inevitably our brother's keeper, because we are our brother's brother. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

Julie Clawson addresses exactly what Martin Luther King Jr. speaks of here in her new book, Everyday Justice. Clawson’s book brings thoughtful reflection and awareness to some of the most profound and obscure breaches of justice that plague the world today. Some of the topics Clawson includes are the injustices found in coffee, clothing, and cocoa production, the car industry and the impact of oil consumption upon the environment, and even the rampant amount of waste created by a consumer society. The target audience of the book is the Christian living in America. Clawson claims that the Christian, who desires to follow the lessons of Christ and the principles of social justice within Christianity, must start to become aware and take responsibility for how consumption choices contributes and sets the stage for many of the human rights atrocities in the world today. But the book is not just for the Christian, it’s for the socially and ethically conscious individual who wants to take, as Clawson says, small steps toward a better world. It suggests small steps toward a future free of exploitation. It suggests small steps toward building a better future.

Given the controversial nature of some of the topics addressed in this book, some may criticize Clawson for not addressing all sides of every issue (the global warming debate, or the relative merits of fair trade, for instance). But given the limited scope of the book (only 206 pages) and the audience intended, it seems that Clawson’s purpose is not to argue every issue in minute detail, but instead to give practical advice for ordinary people. With every chapter, Clawson lays out the issue and provides practical real life scenarios, vignettes which she calls “Everyday Practitioner”, highlighting the individual inner conflict as well as specific “everyday” ways readers can make a difference. At the end of each chapter, she also provides recommendations of books, films and websites to look to for further information . On the chapter of Waste, she even gives a photography website that depicts a pictorial display of the impact of trash.

In conclusion, Clawson opens and closes the book with the directive, “Don’t Panic”. Yes, today’s global issues of injustice are vast and complicated but while there is no end all immediate solution, Clawson helps provide ways the individual, you and me, can play a role in helping to alleviate the injustice. Whether that is supporting the local farmer in buying local produce, recycling or buying fair trade coffee and chocolate products, the action provides a message that injustice is not tolerated. In many of Martin Luther King’s speeches, he often quoted from his book, Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution, “Through our scientific and technological genius, we have made of this world a neighborhood and yet...we have not had the ethical commitment to make of it a brotherhood. But somehow, and in some way, we have to do this. We must learn to live together as brothers. Or we all will perish as fools. We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in the inescapable network of mutuality” Picking up Clawson’s book will help make the brotherhood of man one step closer to becoming a reality. Here is a direct link link off Amazon for purchase, click on me

Stages of Love

2009-09-09T07:52:00.004-05:00

As I try to get adjusted to a new schedule and changes in life, and quite frankly feeling pretty disoriented right now, I remember back to something I learned this past summer from my CPE friend Dale. The way out of human suffering and thus being close to the divine nature of God (reaching the house of God) is done in the following ways according to the Buddhist:

Metta - Loving Kindness
Karuna - Compassion
Mudita - Joy (Need to be joyful...only bringing joy to others)
Upeksha - Equanimity

These things are called in Buddhism, the Brahma Viharas, or the Houses (Abodes) of God, the Divine. Dale explained that it's a subjective reality that does not exist separate from humanity. It's another way of seeing life. Something to think about.

As a silly aside, the juxtaposition of my life right now and this concept reminds me of the classic musical scene in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. Okay, maybe it's a stretch but nevertheless, a classic childhood favorite and who can doubt that Paul Newman does not bring shared joy :-).

Welcome to the New

2009-09-08T06:01:00.004-05:00

I have not blogged for what seemed like weeks. Fresh start today. Today is the first day of the new semester. New classes, new experiences....and drag, what comes with it all, getting used to a whole new schedule. It also includes new discipline. With classes, working two campus jobs and a church internship, I enter overwhelmed but not daunted. Albeit, a part of me is holding my feet a bit firm not wanting to go any further, digging them into the dirt, afraid of getting too close to the edge of the precipice....What happens if I fall! The new is scary. This past Sunday, my home church had a blessing for me as I start my church internship this school year at another church. I brought my friend Lindsay with me. (As myself, it was her last Sunday to go where ever she wanted before she started her SPM requirement, so I was honored that she came to my church with me.) Lindsay and I met two years ago when we attended our seminary orientation. Even though I commuted my first year and she lived on campus, we maintained the connection we started at orientation. Our friendship grew and changed (cemented) this past year when I moved onto campus and went to school full time. She is very dear and like a sister (even our dogs are dear friends). When I met her, I was in a completely new venture. I was just trusting God. I had no idea about what the future may hold. Entering my third year of seminary, I remember how God gave me the gift of her friendship and how that gift blossomed. Totally unexpected. I enter the new, trusting God will take me to the unexpected and yet things will continue to come together...change, adapt and blossom. And, as one of my professors wrote me recently, I will thrive in the new. And, as in the prayer that I received this past Sunday, with God's grace, I will be equal to the challenge. Welcome to the new. I just heard a bird outside my bedroom window signaling in a new day...and so it begins.

CPE....the best of times and the worst of times

2009-08-24T16:48:00.008-05:00

I know; it's been forever since I last posted. Thank the CPE experience for that and it's aftermath of sheer, unadulterated exhaustion. On that note, here is a very short synopsis (extremely hard to do) about my travels this summer in the land of CPE, which I wrote for the first issue of Kairos, the APTS student newsletter.

I recently came across a word I’ve never seen before. The word, susurrus (pronounced soo-sur-uhs), means a soft murmuring, rustling sound, or whisper. The imprint of one’s summertime hospital internship story , also known as CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education), is unique and indelible on one’s ministerial path in the life-altering way that only God could susurringly do. It’s the same rustling of God that confirms that life will never quite be the same again because of the experience attained. Toward the end of CPE, a fellow intern and I joked that the day we graduate from CPE was the day we meet Jesus, the Eschaton itself. This same friend even went so far to call the CPE experience, Priest Boot Camp. Although arduous, for me the blessed triumphs far out weighed those moments of despair. I discovered new capabilities within myself through CPE. I learned what it meant to inhibit a growing sense of pastoral identity and authority. I learned how the pastoral role could fit as a team player with interdisciplinary hospital and medical support staffs. I learned how to minister one-on-one with people with different demographics and of different religions; and to those in crisis; and in those breathtaking moments of honor, whether that was being with a woman that delivered her baby unexpectedly on the way to the hospital, or grandchildren telling their grandmother, recently taken off life support, detailed stories of how she enriched each of their lives in love. CPE also meant dealing with vulnerability head-on. It was through becoming aware of my blind sides that I was able to take this newly bred honesty and allow an emerging relationship to form in acceptance of myself, and how I can better relate to others. Finally, CPE gave way to God’s susuration to trust for a future and a hope.

We try to "fix" the world

2009-08-03T21:37:00.000-05:00

One of the things I've learned in CPE this semester is not to "fix" others or a situation. By all means one can help others find meaning and help for themselves but we cannot do it for them. My friend Nikki wrote a sermon a couple of weeks back on this exact topic. Let me know your thoughts and hope you enjoy the read.

The Church Doesn’t Need Your Commodore 64, or What Are Your Family Priorities?

This summer, we’ve been looking at the stories of David and trying to discover what we can learn about ourselves, and our families, through these stories. So far, we’ve been challenged not to pigeon hole ourselves, or others, into rigid roles. We’ve been encouraged to live into trying out new dances for ourselves, as well as, to honor the dances of others. We’ve been reminded that we are called to live, and even to disagree, in love. We’ve been asked to move beyond our comfort zones realizing that God does not want us to be a stagnant people, but rather a people of change. And finally last week, we looked at David’s imperfect family life and reminded ourselves that the people of the bible were not perfect – just like we are not perfect. Yet we are all part of God’s good story.

Today, I have the honor of sharing with you the story of David and the building of the temple – well really the conception of the idea of building a temple, or house, for God.

But before we get, there I have a confession. I’m not sure if you know this about Tim, but he is very organized when it comes to his sermons. He has his scriptures, themes and topics laid out months in advance. So it was no surprise that when he originally asked me in April to preach for him today that he also provided me his initial outline for the sermon. I read the first line…David lives in house, God lives in tent and then I read his suggested sermon title The Church Doesn’t Need your Commodore 64, or What Are your Families Priorities? I remember thinking, “oh this one is going to be easy.” I mean I remember this story from grade school – David takes care of his own needs first before taking care of God. God gets upset. David’s priorities are all wrong. Fast forward to today. Where are our priorities? Get them straight. Amen. Phew thank goodness that sermon is over!

So being the good responsible seminary student that I am, I sat down last Sunday and actually read today’s scripture. Imagine my surprise, when the story that I recalled from my childhood did not exactly match up with the story that I was reading. I spent an hour searching for the version that I recalled…I didn’t find it. It’s amazing what happens when you actually read the Bible. I don’t know about you, but when I take the time to read the Bible sometimes I actually see things in a different way…or see things that I missed before… or see something that someone (thank you grade school Sunday school teacher!) forgot to tell me or glossed over or maybe they really did tell me but I wasn’t listening.

The more I read and struggled with the differences of my initial understanding of this story and what I was reading, I realized that Tim’s outline didn’t fit so well to what I felt God was calling me to share.

Now don’t go back to Tim and tell him that I think he is wrong! The church still does not need your outdated commodore 64 home computer from the 1980s. And I still think that this story is about priorities and values. I just see it in a different light now.

If you recall, the original twelve tribes had settled in the promised land. The ten tribes that
settled in the north were known as Israel. The remaining two tribes settling in the south were known as Judah. To make matters confusing, collectively, all of the tribes together (that is all 12) are called the people of Israel. So we have to be careful when we say Israel. Are we talking about the whole twelve or the northern subset of ten tribes? – confusing stuff, I know. Nonetheless, Saul is king over Israel, the whole. He dies. Judah, the two southern tribes, recognize David as king. Israel (the ten northern tribes) recognize the son of Saul, Ish-ba-al, as king.

Long story short, Ish-ba-al is assassinated and David is made king over all of Israel (the whole twelve tribes). Although the twelve tribes were “God's children” it is evident that they were variations in their political loyalties, religious customs and traditions. Imagine that! We don’t have anything like that in our modern world, do we? I mean, everyone in this room supports the same politicians, believe the same things, and practice the same way? Right? Don’t we? Hmm…

Well to bridge the gaps between the northern tribes and the southern tribes, David establishes Jerusalem in Judah as the political capital and spiritual center for all tribes. We read last week how he moved the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem in an attempt to form a common ritual between the north and the south.

So David has established Jerusalem as the permanent capital of all of Israel. As leader of this nation, he has a house built for himself -- a nice house of cedar. Cedar symbolizing strength and beauty and therefore demonstrating the power of God. So David is looking around his house admiring its beauty and strength, looks out the window and sees God living in – well -- a tent! For the ancient people of Israel, it was believed that God resided in the ark and the ark usually resided in a tent. As nomads, they had carried God with them everywhere. Once in the promised land, the people began to plant roots…to settle down…to build more permanent like homes. David thinks to himself, I live in this nice house, God definitely deserves to live somewhere better than a tent. I’m going to do the right thing and build God a house! He tells Nathan the prophet of his plans. Nathan agrees God deserves better …

and THIS is the part where God is supposed to be angry that David had his priorities wrong. That God's house should have been built first...enter the rage and anger of the Old Testament God…followed by David’s shame…but that’s not what we read.
God comes to Nathan in a vision or dream and tells him to ask of David “Are you the one to build me a house to live in?” “Have I ever asked you or anyone else to build me a house?” Uh-ooh! Did God really want a house? I mean it was a good idea, right? God deserves the best or at least the best we can offer God within the limits of our humanity. Was David wrong for wanting to do something for God? I personally don’t think so. I think where David missed the mark was that he did not include God in his decisions. He didn’t ask God, “how do you want to use me?”

How often are we guilty of that? How often do we act without first checking in with God? I mean we do a lot of really good things around here. We provide money to our local church and the church at large. We give special mission offerings for Global Ministries and other outreach organizations. We volunteer to help out with Vacation Bible School. We send our kids to youth camps and on mission trips. We write letters, send cards, and make phone calls. We serve as elders, deacons, Stephen ministers, musicians, Sunday school teachers, preparers, helpers, and so on. All very good stuff!

Outside the church some of us volunteer for the food pantry at Bethany Christian Church or serve meals downtown at ARCH. Many of us provide money to very worthy charitable organizations. We volunteer at our children’s schools. We care for our neighbors. We seek justice for the weak and underprivileged. We give our time, our talents and monies to worthy causes. Again, all very good stuff and all part of OUR mission to love God and love neighbors…But do we take the time to include God in our decisions?

Could it be that we are so busy doing good stuff --- stuff that is no doubt important – but still so busy that we are missing the one specific thing that God wants us to be doing? Or maybe, like with David, we are so busy trying to do good that we miss an opportunity for God to do something for us? In our story today, instead of wanting David to build God a house, God tells David that “the Lord will establish a house for you.”

The text doesn’t clearly say here why, but it is implied that if David builds a house for God then that may get in the way of the house or the kingdom that God wants to build for and through David. For you see, even a great king like David can’t do it all!

Many of you know that in addition to my seminary studies, I’m also pursing a masters of social work at the University of Texas. In the social work program we learn how to relate to people, counsel others, organize events, manage organizations, create policy, and more. Although all of the classes have been very insightful, by far my favorite class has been my Social Justice class.

Each week we attempted to take an honest look at the injustices of the society we live in: racism, sexism, ageism, able-ism, classism – and yes the list of –isms goes on and on. Of course we could not do justice (no pun intended) to each of the topics. Instead, we merely scratched the surface of such important issues facing our society. I left class every week so compelled to make a difference in that particular week’s topic. As you can imagine, I quickly become overwhelmed. How can I make a difference in all these areas? How can I possibly decide that one –ism, or issue, deserves more attention than another? Who has time to write letters, make phone calls, research which companies to boycott and which companies are safe to purchase from, organize petitions, participate in sit-ins, and so on. I mean everything is so important because everyone is so important.

I found myself so overwhelmed that I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t do anything. Stuck. Drowning in feelings of urgency of need and shame for my inability to do anything. It was just all too much. Until one day my spiritual director and friend said “Stop. Did God really ask you to take on every issue and personally solve them all?” “Have you asked God what part, if any, you are supposed to take on?”

“Well, um no” I replied. I hadn’t really thought of or even asked God what, if anything, that God specifically wanted me to do. Guilty like David.

As Christians, I firmly believe in God's commandment that we love God and love our neighbors. I’m not suggesting that we necessarily stop doing the good things that we do. What I am suggesting is that we line up our priorities with the priorities God has for our lives. In many ways, our actions may stay the same, the difference is God's inclusion. The only way I know of including God is to ask and then listen. Loving God implies relationship with God. Successful relationships must include communication, attention, and time. Without such elements we really don’t have relationship at all.

May we seek to do good in the world based on the priorities that God holds for each of us. Amen!

Small Ways that Lead to Huge Impacts through Music

2009-07-30T20:42:00.003-05:00

The transformation quality of music is one of the palatable ways people make meaning out of life intrinsically. The sharing of music and what it means to us is one small way music makes a huge impact in the lives of others. It's the vulnerability that comes when we share our lives and our experiences through the music that touches our souls in reflection of the culture in which we live. That's a mouth full I know but we can all agree that music enriches us and teaches us. It can guide us too. For many including me, U2 has impacted lives through their music. U2 has also impacted Christianity. A good friend of one of my professors at school and a recent Facebook friend of mine, Greg Garrett has recently published a book through Westminister John Knox Press that highlights U2's impact on society, Christianity and on individuals. From Publisher's Weekly from the Amazon page on his book says, Rock music fans who have ever wondered if their faith and musical taste could ever be paired will be intrigued by U2's story and Garrett's theological analysis of the band's music.

Tonight, Greg listed a recent interview he did to promote the book on Public Radio. Below is the caption verbiage and link to the interview he did. Here's the caption on the KUT webpage as it introduces the interview of Greg Garrett's new book, We get to Carry Each Other: The Gospel According to U2: Sometimes music and the lyrics go beyond a catchy tune, and make a real impact. Austin-based writer Greg Garrett says while U2 is not a “Christian band” per se, their faith definitely leaks into their work. Greg Garrett is the author of We Get to Carry Each Other: The Gospel According to U2. — Jennifer Stayton

Check out the interview (click on KUT webpage above). It's short and and the interview is set for broadcast on the KUT (Austin's NPR affiliate) program, Morning Edition.

Simple Tugs at the Heart

2009-07-23T21:34:00.003-05:00

The video below is currently being highlighted on Yahoo. It's absolutely amazing. This is the message I posted on Facebook to go with the video, "This dancing piece is absolutely amazing, touching and beautiful. The choreographer, Tyce Diorio, created this dance for a friend of his who was battling breast cancer. The piece was shown on the program, So You Think You Can Dance. It will take your breath away." Seeing pieces of creative artistry like this one is one of the small ways people can make huge differences in the lives of others. It's the simple things that bring glimmers of beauty. These reflective sparkles of God's grace and beauty through the human spirit are also ways small things can make huge differences.

Another example and aspect: If you look at Michelle Brunner's blog, she is doing a series on simple things. Look for her blog entry for July 23. See what I mean. :-).

Here's the video:

'SYTYCD' Top 8: Melissa & Ade's Contemporary Performance @ Y! TV

An interesting observation & simply water

2009-07-15T21:18:00.005-05:00

A couple of nights ago, I was talking to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Claire. We're talking about the changes the Internet brings to society. She was pointing out her opinion that sometimes we cast such a wide net into the world, such easy access to information and communication, that sometimes it distracts us from those people that are closest to us....and thus ultimately distracts us from focusing our energies on one soul at a time, a community at a time, one neighborhood at a time. Our brains are not wired for the constant haphazard and chaotic dealings the Internet and social network sites tend to create (The downside of Facebook, you're so busy finding what others are doing that you're not listening to the person speaking next to you.) And this really resonated with me, she said, "Humanity has lost touch with its own humanity, trying to do too much, too fast." A number of years ago, I did all this research on the small ways people make huge differences in others lives. And the juxtaposition of that with the changing face of American Christianity. I interviewed heads of non-profits and church pastors. What I would like to do in the next few weeks is share some of this data and highlight recent ways people can make differences, locally and globally, all in the grace of making profound differences in others lives. I want to explore how the Internet, used purposefully, can help people make a difference. This first post is from an article I saw in the Times at the beginning of this week that talked about the non-profit called charity: water. A group of former co-teachers I taught with and I were having a conversation at the end of the 2008 school year. We were talking about what demarcates true poverty in the world. Definitively, true poverty from this standpoint is the lack of access to clean water. What struck me about this non-profit is that it helps people in under-developed nations learn to build wells so they can have access to clean water. The average cost per donation: $20. So, in honor of this first post of this series of thoughts, here's a link to the article; and here's charity: water's website,
And lastly, here's a few minute video on the charity and it's impact.

Small Ways to Make Huge Differences
charity: water

Buffy vs Edward

2009-07-10T16:23:00.005-05:00

This video I found on one of the blogs I circulate. It's also circulating around the web. It's actually quite good (especially for a Buffy fan) and worth a look and a handful of minutes to waste. Sorry Twilight fans but Buffy is just too.....well you watch and tell me what you think :-). One more thing...look below the video for some thoughts from the creator of the video...interesting take and one I just might agree with...

From the designer of the video, rebelliouspixels, "Read my post on why I made this remix via WIMN: http://www.wimnonline.org/W... In this re-imagined narrative, Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's an example...Read my post on why I made this remix via WIMN:
http://www.wimnonline.org/WIMNsVoices...
In this re-imagined narrative, Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's an example of transformative storytelling serving as a pro-feminist visual critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior. Seen through Buffy's eyes, some of the more sexist gender roles and patriarchal Hollywood themes embedded in the Twilight saga are exposed - in hilarious ways. Ultimately this remix is about more than a decisive showdown between the slayer and the sparkly vampire. It also doubles as a metaphor for the ongoing battle between two opposing visions of gender roles in the 21ist century."

The Human Spirit

2009-07-06T06:05:00.008-05:00

Three summers ago, maybe it's four now, I interviewed a number of people of the small ways people make huge differences in others' lives. Note to self; I need to start posting the findings of the research and interviews from that summer. I digress for a second. This morning I was checking Facebook and I noticed my former department chair Vanessa posted a link to an article about a young man who survived devastating injuries from a fire that destroyed his home this past December (10 days before Christmas). This change in his life has forced him to give up on some high school dreams but not on life and what his future can hold. The article also shows the impact of others' kindness. My friend Vanessa and her students started a club based upon the movie, Pay It Forward. The club raised 17,000 dollars to help this young man and his family get back on their feet. This article from the Austin American-Statesman is truly inspirational from the standpoint of the resiliency in the human spirit, and in the kindness of people. Here's the link to the article. http://www.statesman.com/sports/content/sports/stories/highschool/2009/06/28/0628bakos.html.

Prayer of St. Francis

2009-06-30T19:22:00.003-05:00

This is Sarah McLaughlin's version of the Prayer of St. Francis. I found this beautiful video off YouTube that uses her version. There is some absolutely stunning imagery as part of this video. Enjoy.

More Birthdays James, Richard and Belated to George....

2009-06-29T17:59:00.004-05:00

A couple of last Birthdays of famous artists. Today is the birthday of James Van Der Zee who lived from 1886-1983. He was an African-American Photojournalist who was famous for documenting Harlem in the 1920s. One of his pictures is set above. Yesterday, June 28, was the birthday of Richard Rodgers. Rogers lived from 1902-1979 with a career that spanned more than 60 years. Some if his most famous work was with his partnership with Oscar Hammerstein. Some of their most notable work among so many others was The King & I, South Pacific, Oklahoma and the Sound of Music. For his time and place Rogers was never afraid to lift out the evils of discrimination and lift up always hope for the future. I've placed a video of Hugh Jackman (the love of my life..ha) singing Oh' What a Beautiful Morning as he played Curley in the west end London version of Oklahoma. And lastly, last week held the birthday of George Abbott who lived until the age of 107, dying in 1995. Abbott directed some of the best Broadway musicals and golden era films. He directed such classical works as, Pal Joey, Wonderful Town, Damn Yankees, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Once Upon a Mattress, among others.

Makeover

2009-06-28T15:46:00.004-05:00

My friend Beth made-over the look of my blog....kind of like that Home-Improvement show on cable where two friends make over each other's place. It's been kind of fun...For before and after shots, look at her blog where she also gave the details of how she did each step. A link to her site is also on the sidebar to the right under, C. Beth's blog. By the way, I've added some other blog sites to the sidebar: One, Maggie's Austin that highlights out of the way restaurants that you might normally miss, or new ones, and upcoming bands and musicians coming to Austin or playing in Austin, like for example one of my favorite bands from Athens Georgia, Widespread Panic. Second, is a blog called ErzaPound Cake and it's a cooking blog; and then I put a blog called Operation Beautiful, all about ways to recognize inner beauty while taking care of yourself physically. And lastly, I put a blog that highlights my friend Melea's year of study in Zambia. So, here's also Beth's blog site for the makeover details :-), C. Beth blog. Let me know your thoughts on the makeover :-). Before and after shots included. Before:
....After, of course, you're looking at it...silly me :-).

Just too cool...

2009-06-27T17:20:00.003-05:00

Currently being performed in Central Park, New York, is William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. The epitome, to me, of summertime beauty....the combination classical lines of Park and one of the greatest English playwrights of all time. This production stars Anne Hathaway as Viola and Audra McDonald (one of my favorite singers) as Olivia. This picture (above) is from the New York Times, Friday, June 26. I wish I lived in New York.

Farrah

2009-06-25T20:43:00.002-05:00

From the Partridge Family....

And, this old commercial...

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T18:29:00.003-05:00

When I heard about Michael Jackson dying, I thought I hope this troubled soul finally finds peace. Undoubtedly he was a very, very talented individual but maybe fame, fortune and his own brokenness got the better of him. This is how I want to remember him....when I was a little kid and he just a handful of years older...someone full of natural talent, still young and untarnished. Enjoy the memory of the Jackson Five singing, Never Can say Goodbye.

Women in Jazz

2009-06-25T18:23:00.003-05:00

This is my original post for today. I heard this lady on the local Austin NPR station, KUT. Her name is Pamela Hart and she is phenomenal. She makes her home here in Austin. Enjoy this cut of a performance at the Paramount.

Happy Birthday Norman Cousins and Spiritual Practice in the Ordinary

2009-06-24T09:48:00.004-05:00

Today, June 24, is the birthday of Norman Cousins. Cousins lived from 1915-1990. He is considered an American Essayist and known for his editorial role of the classic periodical, the Saturday Review. He will be best known for his books on the healing power of laughter. One of his most famous, "The Celebration of Life: A Dialogue on Hope, Spirit, and the Immortality of the Soul." Some quotes by Cousin's, "Hope is independent of the apparatus of logic." And, "If something comes to life in others because of you, then you have made an approach to immortality." And one more, "Man is not imprisoned by habit. Great changes in him can be wrought by crisis - once that crisis can be recognized and understood. " and thus I can't resist some last thoughts, "Laughter is inner jogging; and, Life is an adventure in forgiveness."

Laughter could be considered a spiritual practice in some ways. Laughter is healing and can connect us to the presence of God. I think anyway. In my daily blog reading, I came across a suggestion on Christine Sine's blog site, Godspace (see my side panel for the direct link). It talks about spiritual practices in the ordinary things we do. In answer to what is spiritual practice in the ordinary things we do (connecting our everyday life to our faith), she presents a poem a friend of hers wrote on Spirituality in the act of taking a simple shower. Check out the poem called Shower Prayer by Maryellen Young. Here's the site address, http://godspace.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/the-spiritual-practice-of-taking-a-shower, or click on the side panel link for Godspace and look at the June 24 entry. It's worth a look....holy in a beautiful and non assuming way. What everyday things do you do that exemplify your faith. I would be blessed to know.

Update from Monday

2009-06-23T20:32:00.002-05:00

I only thought I was past it. I discovered last night that I had one pock (besides the one I knew was waiting to dry out more to be released back to my classes and clinical work...sorry if that sounds gross) in the crease of my right knee that was blistered. I was hoping and praying all day that it would start to change in form and see some indications of healing. But no change. Please pray. I've been out for almost a week now...restless and concerned that I will not be able to make up the time in the program. Thanks :-).

Discipline & 2 Birthdays last week

2009-06-22T08:51:00.004-05:00

CPE has taken all my energy so to speak. It's a tremendous growth experience and a huge opportunity for which I am grateful, but completely draining.....and then at the end of last week I developed a latent (post 20 days) reaction to a vaccine. I got a "mild" case of the chicken pox. I still broke out all over and was uncomfortable; albeit the worst was being sent home and not being able to participate in any aspect of the the program for a week. Many of my friends know this portion of my story already. Now, I feel I'm past the reaction (all the pox are resolved as they call it) but waiting for the appointed time to commence where I left off. It's like the discipline of waiting on God...okay God I'm ready now, but then God says not so fast....so many stories in the Bible refer to this...Abraham and Sarah for one. And so, I wait with my at home to-do list and latent anxiety that all will be fine :-).

Two birthdays I didn't blog about last week. Harriet Beecher Stowe who wrote Uncle Tom's Cabin had a birthday last week, as well as Lillian Hellman who wrote the Children's Hour. Stowe's masterpiece was Uncle Tom's Cabin, a story that changed history....a story that brought the travesty of slavery and the unalienable rights of freedom and justice for all people to light. In her obituary from July 2 1896, the writer said Stowe heard their stories and saw their wounds; she helped their flight. In her own words (written in the article), she said that the story of Uncle Tom was not hers, but given to her with the implication that the gift did not come from a earthly source.
Lillian Hellman who lived from 1905-1984 was one of the United States most famous playwrights who was subsequently blacklisted during the McCarthyism Era for not "rating" out her friends and colleagues as "communists". One of her most famous plays was the Children's Hour, where the issue of slander and belief was addressed. A startling story and one that is still true today.

Searching for a new look and Happy Birthday William

2009-06-13T11:28:00.003-05:00

William Butler Yeats was born on this day, June 13, 144 years ago in Dublin, Ireland. (Yeats died in France in 1939. He was 74 years old.) Yeats is one of my favorite poets. One of my most favorites of his is the poem, The Second Coming.

"TURNING and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

To read more poems of Yeats, go to http://www.online-literature.com/yeats. Happy Birthday WB!!
I have not written/blogged anything recently....lots of learning and changes as I progress in my summer CPE program. However, two things to get me writing again (I know I need this outlet of communication): 1) I'll highlight for awhile one person; artist, poet or great thinker, every time I post when the post coincides with a particular person's birthday, such as Yeats above. And, 2) Please give me ideas/knowhow for a new look to my blog. I think some newness might give me the motivation to start writing again, and get somewhat of a following, or at least a way to express myself through writing again. Thanks for your input in advance~

Silly....but this blog needs some spice and dazzle

2009-05-27T08:09:00.003-05:00

I saw this "goofy" symbol on my friend Beth's site this morning, and I thought, I need to try this. My site came up with a 'G' rating. And, I thought to myself, "Oh, I need to add something and up the appeal." Ha!! (Funny how a G rating equates to boring, or only for children....why do we need a R rating to get our attention as something that's valued....huh?). Anyway, click on the icon below and tell me what your blog was rated.

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

Cool , no make that soothing, quote

2009-05-22T20:14:00.005-05:00

This was on my friend Stella's Facebook home page. It's a quote by one of the professors who teaches Greek and New Testament studies here at APTS. I wanted to remember this quote. After two weeks of finals, meetings, papers, and a healthy bout of exhaustion and depression, it seemed to signal light as it struck a unique and beautiful cord within me.
"We do not imagine/create the New and project it as a goal for striving, but rather begin with the new reality declared by God and grope for expression.." - John E. Alsup

Just Charming

2009-05-14T19:23:00.001-05:00

I don't know why this looks so funny to me but it's me as a character from Star Trek. Wanted to post it to keep myself entertained while I stress out over finals....

New Urbanism

2009-05-04T19:29:00.002-05:00

I found this off the blog site, GodSpace by Christine Stine...from someone who had a home in the "burgs" and misses it very much, let me know your thoughts....

Abduction and Rescue

2009-04-21T10:30:00.002-05:00

Check this event/site out....

http://therescue.invisiblechildren.com/en#/austin/

The Rescue Instructional Video from Jason Russell on Vimeo.

P&J #1: The Anniversay of Columbine

2009-04-20T09:57:00.007-05:00

Today is the 10th anniversary of the Columbine tragedy in Littleton, Colorado. I write Littleton in the sentence because its ingrained in me as a good journalist but most Americans and many, many others in the world know exactly where this horrific event occurred. It changed the American psyche forever. I've had a strange fascination with reading about Columbine; albeit, what most strikes me is the survivor stories. Many of these survivors have turned the horror into messages of hope. Many, as Craig Scott (father of Rachel Scott), are teaching students tactics of kindness to overcome bullying and violence. I read recently in the New York Times that he's even taken his message into the corporate world. Amazing. For my new week of posting/bloging aspects of Peace & Justice, here is a website that highlights three survivors of Columbine and the positive non-violent methods they instill in their everyday lives. I encourage you to also check out the links of the article itself, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/columbine_s_survivors_vignettes. Also, here is Scott's push to make a change in the grace of Peace and Justice, www.rachelschallenge.com. Lastly, several years ago I heard Craig Scott speak at Leander High School. Inspired, I wrote the following piece for the high school I worked at and printed it in the newspaper I advised. I know it's long but I hope you can take a few moments to look it over....(oh and incidentally, I've taken out references to the high school I taught at. Ironically, this high school almost went all the way to the State championship last year and won its district division title two years in a row.)

This past Saturday morning, I went to statesman.com to realize that not only did the varsity football team lose again but saw the reality of a young school struggling for identity encapsulated on this website in five words, winless for two consecutive years. At first thought, this sounds pitiful but upon second, I knew that as any person, family, community, state, nation, or even a school's varsity football team and other self esteem woes is part of its journey only to be reversed at a moment’s notice.

This community has tremendous heart and an enormity of personality. These aspects are not always seen in the every day dealings of students, staff, faculty and administration. Everyday stresses cloud and misdirect the grounded truth of the adults molding the hearts and minds of young people and the young people receptive to learning and actively participating in the pursuit of becoming responsible adults.

No one high school is alone in this problem. High schools across the nation are in the same boat, so to speak. This past September, I heard the father of Columbine victim Rachel Scott speak on the problems that plague education today. Darrell Scott talks to high schools across the nation and has even talked to Congress. His theory is that the problem does not stem from potential school violence, video games or rock-in-roll music but from a lack of kindness and compassion at all levels. It’s a heart matter, not a testing to prove achievement matter, or how many wins on Astroturf and grass matter.

According to Scott, compassion can replace fear and violence all the while creating safer and more productive places for students to learn and achieve. Compassion is not saying hi to everyone but the heart behind it. In his address, Scott challenges all to start by erasing any prejudice that might exist in a person’s heart. He provides the heart-breaking example of Columbine victim, Isaiah Shoals, whose last words he heard in his young life was that of a racial slur and his last utterance was that of wanting his mother.

Scott’s second challenge was for students to choose positive role models and develop a sense of purpose and destiny. He provided his daughter Rachel as an example. Rachel reached out to those that are typically shunned by high school society; the handicapped, the picked on and the new. Scott spoke that Rachel provided profound opportunities to make a positive difference in people’s lives…small, simple things to show kindness and acceptance. He went on to remark that one should never be too tough or too cool to let someone show that they care.

Scott’s last challenge to his audience of students, administrators, faculty members and parents is to make a short list of those that have impacted one’s life in a positive way and tell them thank you and that they are appreciated. Right now do this exact thing; administrator to teacher; student to student; student to teacher; student to administrator; teacher to parent; write down 10 individuals and tell them how much they mean.

Negative environments, TAKS scores, athletic wins, academic advances and overall reputation can be turned on its head with small steps toward compassion and kindness. Accountability comes through care…it’s a heart matter. As Rachel Scott wrote in one of her last English essays, “I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same.” And so it is.

Easter Monday

2009-04-13T08:34:00.003-05:00

The last push toward the end of the semester starts today, My whine is a want the semester to end but too tired to make the effort. So, I rely on history and remembering that the energy is found always found somewhere, as in seeing this video shot in Antwerp Belgium. Enjoy and a bit about the video, according to the original poster, "More than 200 dancers were performing there version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp. with just 2 rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! Those 4 fantastic minutes started the 23 of march 2009, 08:00 AM. It is a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program, where they are looking for someone to play the leading role, in the musical of "The Sound of Music". ). More traditional Peace & justice thoughts will return on Tuesday :-).

Easter Sunday...He is Risen, Risen Indeed

2009-04-12T00:17:00.001-05:00

words by Sydney Carter, music traditional

I danced in the morning when the world was begun
I danced in the Moon & the Stars & the Sun
I came down from Heaven & I danced on Earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth:

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!
(...lead you all in the Dance, said He!)

I danced for the scribe & the pharisee
But they would not dance & they wouldn't follow me
I danced for fishermen, for James & John
They came with me & the Dance went on:

I danced on the Sabbath & I cured the lame
The holy people said it was a shame!
They whipped & they stripped & they hung me high
And they left me there on a cross to die!

I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body & they thought I'd gone
But I am the Dance & I still go on!

They cut me down and I leapt up high
I am the Life that'll never, never die!
I'll live in you if you'll live in Me -
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!

Holy Saturday...Serenity in Austin

2009-04-11T08:02:00.004-05:00

Two thoughts stay with me this Holy Saturday: the first is insurrection...what does that word really mean and specifically in the scope of Jesus being considered an insurrectionist in his place and time, or even in our place and time?.....And, second how do we look at the character of Judas? Do we look at him demanding justice, or do we look at him through the lens of mercy?
The video for today is one I find by the band Flyleaf recorded after their recent trip for World Vision in Rwanda. They talk about peace, reconciliation and hope. Ah yeah, and it was recorded here in Austin during SXSW. Excellent.....